Awakening
by tomiaru
Summary: Reincarnated soul caught in a love triangle; Homura X Hinata X Hakkai
1. Default Chapter

**AWAKENING**

**Gensoumaden Saiyuki and its characters aren't my own invention, yadayada. I wrote this through the urging of Tower-san and with the help of initial brainstorming chat-files compiled by nataku_x99 and ryuuzou_yukaeshi.  I had fun writing it, so I'm hoping you have fun reading it. I apologize for any mistakes I've made regarding spelling and character profiling, 'coz I haven't watched the series yet, just the movie, plus this is my first anime fanfic. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu! ~ tomiaru **

**Chapter 1: Meeting**

_"Mou…how annoying!" Hinata paced at the entrance of the sheltering cave and every now and then she would grab a fistful of hair, manage to wring some water from it, absentmindedly slap at the drenched clothing clinging to her clammy skin, and eventually resumed muttering self-recriminations at the situation she'd placed herself in._

_"You just had to get lost, didn't you? Peace and quiet, you said. Well, you got it. This place is deader than that creepy To Ngai Gojyo-kun was talking about…" Hinata shook her head in disbelief. __"Why did you have to leave the campsite?" The question was a rhetorical one. She knew exactly why she had left. It had something to do with putting space between her and a certain monocled demon whom she admired and at the same time feared. Because she felt in her heart that he was dangerous, to her, particularly. Because he hadn't stopped watching her since they had met up on this journey. Surreptitiously, yes, but still...watched her as though he couldn't help himself. Her onee-san was beautiful, but though Yukaeshi had been in his close proximity while they'd been preparing last night's meal, he had looked towards Hinata more often, and seemingly with less cause. What was the most disturbing of all, she had liked it…too much. Hinata quickly veered away from the memory, going back to observing her surroundings. __  _

A sheet of water from the continuing downpour of rain obliterated the scene beyond the narrow opening that was all there was to the entrance, not that there was much to see being nighttime with the moon obscured by clouds. Yet Hinata narrowed her eyes as though trying to peer through the obstruction, wondering if this or that shape would materialize into one of her erstwhile unwanted (now becoming quite tolerable) companions. Five minutes of this fruitless activity had not deterred Hinata from trying to stare down the water. It was really too bad that the sound of the pounding rain resembled laughter, as though the water were mocking her, the displeasure she felt, and the time she will be forced to waste waiting for the weather to improve.     

_"Ba-ka!" Hinata smacked a hand to her head and stopped pacing. __"Tsumaranai desu. This rain won't recede anytime soon." And thinking about what he does to me won't make it any less mysterious, she told herself silently, while looking toward the darkened interior of the cave and wondering what lay beyond. She hoped there weren't any bats. As she'd found out from past experience, the keening sound the winged creatures made pierced her sensitive ears and it took an hour before the resulting headache receded. She usually took care not to disturb the sleeping bats, but when that didn't work, she'd learned to silence them before they made a sound, usually without killing them. A knock on the head with a well-aimed pebble was one effective way. Failing that, well, she'd become really adept at aiming fireballs with just the right speed and temperature for a perfectly fried bat. _

Hinata's stomach rumbled, reminding her that the last food she ate were the rice balls Yukaeshi and… and _he…had prepared the night before. Not much, considering she hadn't had any appetite then, after that incident in the clearing. She hadn't been able to look __him in they eye when __he'd__ brought her the food, and asked her how she was. She only hoped that she hadn't hurt his feelings when she'd sneaked half of her dinner to a grateful Goku, while Yukaeshi and Sanzo were busy ignoring each other. Hinata smiled, remembering how Sanzo had coolly commented to—oh she could say his blasted name, Hakkai, so there –that sodden rice balls 5 days and 5 nights in a row did nothing much to improve a person's constitution, to which Hakkai had curiously and quite impolitely not replied. Yukaeshi had dealt with the rude comment by declaring that snotty priests who wouldn't help with the cooking would do well to practice a little fasting, and had given Sanzo's share to a very complimentary and attentive Gojyo. Gojyo in turn had ended up fighting with Goku, and nearly choking when he'd scarfed down the food he'd been given to keep the relentless monkey from stealing any. Good thing one of his beer cans had been near at hand to wash it down. _

The group badly needed to replenish their food supply, Hinata thought, and a shelter besides, for this rainy night. _"I might as well do something productive."  Leaving her mark on the wall, and with one last look at the unabated rainstorm, Hinata turned her back on the entrance and decidedly advanced into the inner corridors of the cave._

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_"Taishi, begging your pardon sir, but we have an intruder in your holy sanctum." Xenon and Shien both genuflected to the back of a tall, imposing figure. It was Shien who spoke, and Shien who looked for a signal that he could stand from his awkward position. Xenon stoically kept his head bowed and his right knee to the ground. He knew no such relief would be forthcoming._

Homura kept his back to them, relishing the seething annoyance kept in check by Shien. Calling this filthy cave a holy sanctum was just Shien's way of trying to get the upper hand with the higher god, within the boundaries of the role given to him. Homura knew his aide well, knew that Shien resented his fall from grace, how he longed for his former status of god. It amused Homura to no end, how Shien would sometimes chafe at the orders given to him, and struggle to hide what he truly felt. Oh, he was loyal, and grudgingly respectful, probably because Shien knew Homura could so easily destroy him. Stripped of his powers, Shien had little choice but to keep close guard, and watch for any mistake Homura might make. Given the chance, Shien would not hesitate to sacrifice Homura for his own advancement, and they both knew it. 

_"We await your orders, Taishi-sama." It was Xenon this time that spoke, at Shien's urging. There was a hint of apology in Xenon's blandly neutral voice. Of the pair, it was Xenon who had adjusted easier to his demotion. Then again, he had always kept close to Shien, even when he was god in his own right…even before they had become "partners". Xenon's subservience now annoyed Homura, who wondered at how the former god showed so little pride.   _

Homura decided to cut his godly crap. It was no fun when Xenon used that hangdog tone of his. He motioned for them to rise, cocking an eyebrow at Shien, who despite the electrical shocks moving up and down his stiff leg quickly muffled a groan of complaint. 

_"I was aware of the intruder before she even entered this cave…" with a derisive smile, Homura pointedly glanced at Shien __"…and while you were in your cups. Do not harm her. Find her, and bring her to this chamber. Leave now." The orders were issued succinctly. Nowadays, he found himself frequently getting impatient with his aides, his duties, and the world that continued being weak and in need of gods like him to rid it of its demons. In his opinion, humans caused more harm than good, and most of it directed at their own kind, if not their own selves. They were unruly, chaotic, and really of little use to the universe._

At least, that was what he used to think…until this one…this one human girl with whom fate had brought to this moment in time and space, to him. She was…_different. Unless he missed his guess, the streaks of red in her rich brown hair indicated mixed parentage somewhere. Perhaps she was a child of taboo, like one of her companions, that rough redheaded river demon who loved loving women. Homura's mouth formed a sneer. What else can one expect from such a one? But this girl…she had a purity of soul that he had rarely seen in any person, crossbred demon or god. Even that sister of hers, lovely woman that she was, could not compare. He who is favored by the Buddha, the priest Sanzo, was a fool to choose the older one. But then again, maybe the priest thought to keep this one pure. He had better watch out for his demon followers, then. Especially that one-eyed centipede and his little white pet—whatever that one hid, Homura could plainly read desire and…intimacy. There was a bond that connected the one-eyed demon with the girl. _

With a flash of iron and silk, Homura wrapped one of his chains around a protruding boulder, and neatly cut off a piece of it. The dislodged piece rolled on the floor and hit the base of its former self, looking uncannily like a smiling face, before the impact made it shatter into unrecognizable pieces.          

_"I can no longer watch from afar…I'll no longer keep my distance. You yourself chose to come to me." In the middle of that silent chamber, the fighting god Homura waited, for the first interesting human in the 243 years of his god-existence, to finally cross his path._

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 __

_"Aie-ee!" Halfway inside the tunnels of the cave, Hinata realized that she had seen nary a bat. In fact, there was hardly any living creature in the place as far as she could tell. She'd been walking through seemingly unending dark stone, heard nothing but the distant sound of splashing water, which she couldn't place…there was a sudden crash, as though a part of the cave had crashed into itself. Hinata winced and cocked her head, waiting for shrieking bats to show themselves, but there were no subsequent sounds. No scuffling from ground creatures disturbed from their hiding places. That ought to have set off permutations of crashing rock and the consequent noises, but the cave had returned to its former silence, as though nothing had happened._

_"Oh hell, I just had to pick the only cursed cave in the place." Hinata stared at a familiar stalagmite, a __very familiar piece of stalagmite, shaped in the form of two spread hands, the thumbs and forefingers touching to form a circle. And that's what she had been doing, going around in circles. _

In sheer frustration, Hinata walked up to the hands, and punched the first one, breaking off the circular connection. To her surprise, the wall disappeared and she found herself looking at an actual chamber. Well, that was easy!—Hinata thought with amusement. Stepping into the chamber, she examined two rather beat-up looking futons and the (at this Hinata blinked rather rapidly) pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers to the side of one. The other pair was of wood again, but a wood so raw her feet tingled, imagining the discomfort. There was nothing else besides a squat wooden cupboard and a small, unwieldy table of the same material where a grumpy-looking clay teapot and two half-empty cups of what smelled like mint tea reposed. Hinata sniffed delicately and poked a finger at the slightly dirty cup. Hmm, the cup was still tepidly warm. Whoever it was who stayed there must be near. At the corner of her eye, the pink slippers seemed to be vibrating in anger, growing fuller. Her head snapped sideways, as though to catch the movement, but except for the startling color, there was nothing offensive about the pair. Turning her back on them—her eyes couldn't stare at pink for long without imagining swift mutilation—Hinata found herself looking at what had appeared to be a wall, but now seemed to be a shimmering curtain of shadows.

_"Oh, what the hell…" With no more than a cursory glance to scope what remained of the room to explore—nothing really—Hinata rushed into the shadow-curtain, only to fall flat on her face between two hulking guys. The tall, blond-haired one with the oddly-shaped lips and high beaked nose was speaking to the stocky, silent one who was the first to acknowledge her rather undignified entrance—well, at least he __looked at her instead of speaking right through her. How could he not, when she'd crashed straight into his rock-solid chest. Might as well have rammed herself into the cave wall, her ribs would have hurt less. _

_"…summoning us for a reprimand about taking a two-minute break, when he knew perfectly well she would walk into our room in two seconds flat and we could've taken her to him already instead of making two trips." The noisy one stopped his tirade and looked past his humongous nose at her (a mean feat to be sure). __"Are you getting off the floor, or do we have to drag you to your feet?" He turned to his companion. __"I swear humans are such trouble. If it were up to me, I'd have let the ceiling cave in on her the moment she'd entered uninvited."_

The short one held out an arm for her to grasp, but Hinata shook her head. Although she'd already decided that Mr. Mugon (Silent) was much more likeable than Mr.Beaked-Nose-And-High-Baishofu~ish-Voice, she wasn't taking any chances. Their snack had been interrupted, and she didn't want either of them realizing that they needed something to chew on with their tea. Seeing as these two had probably raided the cave of its live occupants, Hinata didn't want to be a bat-biscuit-extender, or worse, a tofu-substitute. She stood up, brushed the dust from her clothes, stepped back and craned her neck to see their faces, and decided to be polite for now.

_"Ah…sumimasen. Doko wa nan desu ka?" she asked Mr. Mugon. He stared back at her without comment._

_"Doku?" Mr. Beaky-Baishofu asked, considering with a hint of hope in his voice. He looked at her with new respect._

Hinata's temper ignited. _"Baka onna! I didn't say poi—" Her breath was let out into a whoosh of air, as Mr. Mugon folded his beefy arm around her stomach and with a swish of his arm, hitched her puny weight onto his shoulder._

_"Dame, Xeon-san. The master said we were not to harm her." Mr. Mugon apparently could talk. His voice was low but deep and rumbling, sounding like the hand of a god muffling thunder. Annoyed all the same, Hinata decided she had license to call him a silent simpleton since he acted that way most of the time. Not that she blamed him. Having Mr. Beaky-Baishofu for company would be bad for anyone's disposition._

_"She called me a woman!" High had moved a notch into shrill. Hinata held her head, deciding that she'd take bats any day over Mr. Beaky-Baishofu and his awful voice. Extending one arm, Hinata formed an energy ball in her cupped hand, readying to throw the thing at the blasted speaker, and heard the whispered warning of __"Gomen, lady" before she felt Mr. Mugon-no-Tonma's hand tap her head hard enough to knock her senseless. The energy ball winked out, and she heard Mr. Mugon-no-Tonma's exclamation of __"Susamajii", or thought she did, before completely blacking out. _

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Yukaeshi was aware of time passing. Every raindrop that fell was akin to a grain of sand on an hourglass, a minute stretching into another minute that Hinata did not return. The group had taken shelter within three large stones, forming a nook at what would have been the new campsite, but the water had taken care of the fire and kept everything too wet to build a new one.

A lighter flicked on as Gojyo prepared to light the cigarette clenched between his sharp teeth. 

_"Smoke when I'm near enough to breathe in the acrid stench and you'll regret it." Yukaeshi's voice was low but it carried sufficient warning for Gojyo to pause. _

He looked towards Sanzo for confirmation. _"Sanzo-sama?"_

_"Do as you please." Sanzo's tone declared he couldn't care less if Gojyo decided he wanted to eat the cigarette instead of smoking it. With one look at Yukaeshi's too-serene face, Gojyo decided against it and turned his attention to another of his vices—women._

_"Are you cold, Yukaeshi-chan?" He tucked the cigarette behind his ear, placed his arm around Yukaechi's shoulders and tipped her chin up for a kiss. __"Let me remedy that."_

Yukaeshi caught his red hair and yanked at it with enough force to make Gojyo's head snap back, and make him utter a couple of expletives. She nimbly removed herself from his embrace and stood up. 

_"Ouch! You've hurt my feelings, Yukaeshi-chan." Gojyo griped, while running his hands through his abused red hair. It rippled like silk in the shaft of moonlight that peeked out from the disappearing rain clouds. He wasn't used to rejection, but he grinned winningly at the female who'd just dealt his ego a much-deserved blow. From the wicked expression in his eyes, the ego remained intact even after such a direct brush-off. _

_"I don't kiss smokers, dear boy…even one as pretty as you." Yukaeshi smiled at Gojyo's sudden hoot of appreciative laughter, and sat next to a sleepy Goku, ruffling the monkey's hair and giving him the withheld kiss on his cheek. _

_"Ah, now you've REALLY hurt my feelings, kirei no onna. Kissing that dirty little monkey instead of me!" Gojyo's voice held a note of outrage. _

_"Aka…goki…bu…" It was a measure of Goku's exhaustion that he didn't even finish the insult. Seeing that his favorite adversary was wiped out, and his prey-for-the-moment having eluded his advances, Gojyo promptly closed his eyes and started snoring away._

Yukaeshi waited for what seemed like an hour, for peace to settle into the impromptu camp, for the rain to abate and the storm clouds to completely dissipate. All that time her mind thought of various scenarios that may have befallen Hinata, worrying over her younger sister, and chafing at the delay for action. 

Hinata had been acting strange lately. At first, Yukaeshi thought Hakkai was bothering her sister, and had asked Hinata if she wanted to be rid of him, to which Hinata had said that she would handle it herself. Yukaeshi had left them alone, had known of the meeting in the clearing, but had trusted Hinata to do what was best. When her sister and the demon had gotten back, it was obvious that something had happened, but Hinata had been surprisingly silent about the whole matter, and Yukaeshi hadn't wanted to press. 

Finding her sister's sadness unbearable, however, Yukaeshi had finally broken around lunchtime, and signaled Hinata that she wanted to talk privately. Hinata had told Yukaeshi a bizarre story of past lives and a tragic love story that seemed too far-fetched to be believed. Yukaeshi had accused Hinata of covering up what really happened and they'd had a serious row. Hinata had stormed off, unheeding of Yukaeshi's warning of an impending rainstorm . Hinata had remarked that she preferred the bad weather to her sister's bad mood, and it suited her fine today, anyway. For the first time in a long while, the sisters had not been in accord.

Yukaeshi bitterly regretted her part in the row, and hoped that she had not driven her sister away. But she knew Hinata would have come back by now, if she were able, which meant that something must be preventing Hinata from returning. 

Yukaeshi decided that the appropriate time had elapsed, and that the conditions were now right to make her move. Yukaeshi opened her eyes, and silently rose to leave. 

_"Anata wa doko desu ka?" Sanzo's face was partially seen from the shadows, as he flicked on his lighter, lit his cigarette and took a deep drag from it. After which, Yukaeshi saw nothing but the curling smoke of the cigarette he held, his hand resting on his raised knee. There was grace and suppressed strength in the pose, and Yukaeshi swiftly stifled her involuntary surprise and the bothersome attraction that she didn't want him to see._

_"If you must know, I wanted to go out, be alone, breathe in a bit of smoke-free air—that fine with you?"  The last bit was dripping with her usual honeyed sarcasm. There was something about Sanzo that brought all her defenses up and her temper into prominent, if poised, display. It irritated her that he could so calmly, and coolly question her movements. She answered to no one, least of all an arrogant delinquent monk._

_"Perfectly fine." He took another drag. __"Just…don't die or anything." The sentence was delivered in his usual monotone voice._

Yukaeshi got another one of those flashes of annoyance that only Sanzo could provoke. Rolling her eyes heavenward, she dredged up the smile she reserved for the rabid demons she wanted to disarm before giving them a merciful death, and bit out, _"Like it's so easy to kill me."_

Sanzo's silence was a maddening affirmation. He continued smoking his cigarette, giving the impression that he was relishing it, in mockery of her scruples. 

Yukaeshi exhaled, wishing she could spare the time to teach the monk a lesson. _"That's a filthy habit." She said instead, then flippantly, __"Ja…" _

Sanzo nods, but Yukaeshi had already left, without looking back. He crushed the barely-smoked cigarette between his two fingers.

_"A waste of a perfectly good smoke, if you ask me." Gojyo's voice indicated his snores had been fake all along._

_"What's that supposed to mean?" Sanzo's hand whipped out and Gojyo found himself staring straight into the priest's gun, yet again. _

_"Nandemonai." Gojyo made a pacifying gesture with his hands. __"I meant nothing."_

Sanzo lowered his weapon only after a full minute had elapsed. He settled his back against the wall again, his weapons hidden, his stance watchful but not threatening.

Gojyo had dropped his hands as well, and was looking around the enclosure. _"Where is Hakkai, anyway? Just my luck that he picked tonight not to get between us, when I'm not combative anyway." _

Sanzo snorted in disbelief._ "He went looking for the girl, right after she left. Poor fool. He couldn't even wait an hour, or until the rain let up. That woman is practicing more caution than he is." His voice had its usual deprecating tone, especially when he referred to "that woman". Gojyo wisely refrained from commenting._

_"Should we go after them?" Gojyo had every intention of going after Hakkai whether Sanzo allowed it or not, but he still followed protocol as much as possible. They were, after all, on a mission with Sanzo as the designated leader. Well, Sanzo was on a mission, and the rest of them had decided they might as well tag along._

_"Whatever." It was the usual monotone. Gojyo took it as affirmation._

_"Hara…" Goku rolled over in his sleep. __"…hetta." _

_"This stupid monkey is talking about food even in his sleep." Gojyo moved as though to kick Goku awake, but then he stopped when Goku moved out of reach and sighed out, __"Hina…ta."_

_"Now that's a first." Gojyo chuckled. __"Could it be that our little monkey is growing "up?"_

_"It doesn't matter. Wake him up later." Sanzo paused to take out another cigarette. __"We're giving the woman a twenty-minute head start."_

_"I thought you said an hour." Gojyo muttered under his breath._

_"You said something?" Sanzo's eyes glittered dangerously._

_"I asked whether or not you were going to smoke that thing." Gojyo pointed at the unlit cigarette Sanzo held._

Sanzo stared at the cigarette a while before tossing it to Gojyo. _"I don't want it." At Gojyo's raised eyebrow, Sanzo rudely bit out, __"You can take it to hell with you."_

_"With extreme pleasure." Gojyo lit up, and inhaled, smirking. __"Are you sure you don't want to give everything to me now instead of later, say, when the women, or one in particular, can bear witness to your sacrifice of the er—filthy habit? I'd be happy to take the smokes off your lily-white hands."_

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_"Urusai, shine." Sanzo's warning silenced Gojyo, but didn't quite wipe off the smirk. _ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 

_"Whose fist did she run into?" Homura's eyes glinted dangerously. It was more unnerving to see the dissimilar colors flash in warning than if they'd been of the same color. One expected them to register different expressions, but they didn't, and it was double the impact._

Xenon dropped down into a repentant pose. _"A thousand pardons, my lord. It was to prevent her from attacking Shien with an energy ball. And to protect her from herself."_

_"You mean, to protect her from Shien's wrath." Homura's chains clinked musically. It made the bowed Xenon nervous. His eyes started blinking in reaction._

Shien dropped down on one knee as well, gritting his teeth in mortification. _"I beg pardon lord, though the girl offered insult, I would not have countermanded your orders."_

_"Instead, you let your partner do it for you." The chain links were still swinging idly. Shien started to sweat. He could feel the wind picking up, wrapping itself around those links, the air crackling with electricity. He suddenly wondered if he were ready to die without having retained god status._

_"No matter." The chains stopped swinging. The wind died down. Homura sounded amused, as though he had read into Shien's mind. __"Xenon acted as best he could. His judgment is sound, where yours fail. You are lucky he is always there to clean up after you, and to prevent some of your more foolish mistakes." Shien's heart burned with resentment, but he kept his head down and his mouth shut. __    __   _

Satisfied that his aides had been duly chastised, Homura let the matter drop and issued new orders. _"Patrol around the cave and search for Sanzo and his demon-friends." Homura's voice, though soft, vibrated with steely command. __"This girl is their companion and will be missed. She will bring Sanzo, and the sutra to us." _

_"Yes, lord." Shien glanced at the prone figure of Hinata. Her shallow breathing filled the hollow cave, eddies of sound bouncing from rock to earth, akin to the rippling murmur of the underground waterfall to her right, as though the small space were created solely to keep the sound in, to keep her within. __"Pardon sir, but who's gonna take care of the kid?" _

"She is not your concern." Homura's voice, if possible, had become softer, but had the same effect as a knife blade glinting in the light—eerily beautiful, and deadly sharp. 

_"Ok then." Shien shrugged his shoulders, gave Homura a wary look then gestured for Xenon to precede him. The two left the darkness of the cave, careful not to shake their heads at the incongruity of a mighty fighting god watching over a sleeping human girl-child, lest they offend that same, rather temperamental, god._

Homura had forgotten the two even before they stepped from his line of sight. His sole focus was on the girl, and he spent five minutes simply looking at her, watching her sleep, and wondering at the strangeness of fate. This same girl, whom he had watched from afar for so long, was now an arm's length away from his grasp. Oh, he could have snatched her to his side at any time, but at first, he had been astonished at his own interest in such a pitiful creature as a human being. His astonishment knew no bounds, when the interest became not just a passing fancy, but a full-grown fascination, as he continued to watch, continued to find excuses to listen in on her conversations, mostly, or so he told himself, to discover exactly what it was about her that pulled him to her side. To his consternation, he found himself begrudging the duties that demanded he leave off his obsessive watch, and realized he was jealous of everyone who was allowed near her, by chance, and especially by her choice…

But she was here now. And so was he. Homura smiled, slowly, in a way that would've made Shinrei back out of that cave faster than it took for Xenon to blink—and he blinked a lot—a nervous habit that no healer has found a cure to. At least, that was what Xenon had said when Homura had asked politely. The nervous tick, and the pair of fuzzy pink slippers, had saved Xenon at the time from being decimated by Homura, who had been just as amused then as he was now.

It was doubtful, however, that Hinata had the same luck. Then again, she was better looking than Xenon, and would rather die than bat her lashes at any god. The thought caused Homura to chuckle, a sound neither of his aides would have recognized. 

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Hakkai had been searching for more than an hour. The rain had hampered his search, but he was fairly sure that Hinata must have reached the caves. He seemed to remember a rumor that the caves were enchanted, that a god would visit them at random times. Women had lost their way inside them and never returned. He picked up more speed with Jeep, refusing to think of Hinata lost completely to him. Not after what they had found out, when they'd met at the clearing…

_"You've been watching me." Hinata had taken the offensive._

_"Gomen. But I find great enjoyment in watching you." Hakkai hadn't sounded apologetic at all. __"You are beautiful."_

_"I don't want to be complimented, I want you to stop. It makes me uncomfortable." It was making her uncomfortable now, that secretive smile of his, the indefinable something in his eye. _

_"That is like asking me to pluck my other eye out. You would deprive me of sight?" Hakkai's tone was pleasant, as though being asked to go blind were a reasonable request, if it came from her. _

_"Of course not! But there must be something else to look at besides every move I make! You make it so difficult for me to be natural around you. I sense your regard even when your eyes are not upon me." Hinata blushed at her own plain speaking. She was not used to this._

Hakkai moved closer. Hinata hadn't known it was possible to be more nervous. _"I look at you because your every move pleases me. I look at you because I find happiness in your smile. I look at you, because I feel that I've met you, known you from the time I came into being, from the time I became part of this earth. I don't know exactly when, but I was also important to you once, I know it." He was now right in front of Hinata, so near, she could see the pores in his flawless skin. __"May I kiss you?" _

_"Wha-at?" Hinata's eyes grew round. This wasn't going as she'd planned. She hadn't asked him to meet her for this. _

_"I ask only for one kiss. Nothing more…" Too stupefied and tongue-tied, Hinata lost her opportunity to say nay or yea. Hakkai took her silence as confirmation, his head lowered and he sealed her surprised mouth with a kiss. _

It started out slow and gentle. Hakkai used only his mouth to beguile her, concentrating on that and nothing else. Hinata lost herself in the kiss. No other part of their bodies touched, and yet she could feel every part of her body bathed in the spread glow from the heated kiss, feel his warm body straining to bridge the small hairline gap of space that separated them. Without words, he spoke to her of intense longing and barely-leashed control. The wafting breeze casually tossed his dark hair and its silky strands caressed the side of her face, as though compensating for his still hands. She longed to touch him, but held herself back, knowing that any more encouragement would let loose a tide of desire that she would most likely drown in.

Hakkai was caught in the eye of the storm, he was on fire, his hands shook with the need to touch her, and his mouth could not get enough of her ministrations. That she had surrendered that much gave him exquisite joy, while at the same time he wanted more. He wooed her with his mouth, opening the seal of her lips, and coaxing her to slide her tongue alongside his own, wanting to give and give and take as much as she was ready to offer in return. He fought to keep his mouth from conveying the fierceness of his need for her, careful not to bruise her soft lips, careful not to let his rough skin abrade her smooth cheeks. He was only partially successful. With Hinata's continued positive response, he was growing more demanding, his control slipping just a tad more. He opened his whole consciousness to her…and that's when it happened. 

Hinata and Hakkai felt themselves being sucked into a vortex of their own making, the air turned blue around them, and suddenly they were no longer kissing, but staring at each other through the bars of a cage. Disoriented, Hinata looked around her, and saw that it was she who was trapped within the cage. Looking down at herself, her appearance had changed. She was dressed in a long white gown, the braid of hair across her heaving breast was black, not brown, and too long to be her own—and yet she knew for certain it was hers. She was also taller, almost of the same height as Hakkai, who also looked different, younger, more…human. _"Ju…"_

Hakkai stared speechlessly at the familiar scene. Before him was the female who haunted his dreams, and he knew that he had been transported to the exact time and place of the most painful experience in his unresolved past. He struggled to keep himself from turning completely into Ju Golan, knowing that somewhere there existed another side of him, the demon Hakkai, who had remembered too much and had brought him back here, to the scene of his demon birth and human death. To her, Fa Nam.

_"Fa __Nam__, is it really you?"  Hakkai's voice came out hoarsely._

Hinata shook away the fuzziness in her head. She felt as though her brain had turned to cotton. Is that my name, she thought._ She gripped something to her breast, and looking down, she saw a short dagger in her hand. Is this mine, she asked herself._

_"Don't do it, my love! No!"  Hakkai couldn't stop himself, his other self, from saying what he knew was an ineffectual warning. This had happened before. He had been unable to prevent it. Now he was powerless again to stop the girl in front of him from bringing the knife to her vulnerable neck. She seemed so afraid, so frail, and yet he knew that she had the courage of a tigress. She would will her own destruction, and precipitate his maddened grief._

Hinata felt something new, something moving within her, a new life. A baby. _That bastard's baby, the thought whispered inside her head, culled from the deepest recesses of memory.__ It came to her then, why she had the knife in her hand, why she had been caged, why she felt a crippling despair in her soul…but Ju—yes, that was his name, her brother Ju—he was not supposed to be here. _

In confusion, Hinata found herself saying words that she had not thought to say. _"Ju, it's too late, I am defiled! The monster's son is inside of me, he is killing me from within!" Hinata's free hand flew to her mouth, trying to stop the bitter words from flowing out, but they continued to be spoken, as though her mind and body were no longer hers but some other woman's, a woman who was her and yet not her. __"Ju, I cannot let it live! I cannot! It will destroy everything I hold dear, just like its father did!" Tears were flowing from her eyes, blurring her vision, and yet she wiped at them to look at his beloved face. It grieved her to see him suffering, how he did not bother to wipe at the tears that flowed from his beautiful jade eyes and dirtied his cheeks._

Hakkai struggled to stop the moment from continuing, but he was also caught in the web of memory. _"Fa __Nam__, I will take you from this place. Put down the knife. Sweetheart, you can never be defiled. Your soul is pure, he cannot corrupt it and your heart belongs to me, you have never given it to him. I have kept it safe, as you have kept my heart protected within your breast. I should have kept you by my side. You belong with me. If you hurt the baby, you hurt yourself. If you hurt yourself, you are killing me.  Please Fa __Nam__, for my sake, do not do this."_

Hinata took the knife and pressed, ever so gently, on her neck. Nicking the skin, she felt the warmth of her blood start to flow. The pain made her feel alive for the first time since being brought to this place of horror.

_"Yameru! Onegai! Yameru!" Hakkai pressed his body against the bars, tried to break the barriers, trying to reach out and take the dagger from her hand. He saw the decision in her eyes, and denied it, willed her to desist from the act._

_"Ju, we cannot go back. I cannot go back. I died when he touched me. I died when he raped me…" She moved closer, but still out of his reach. He strained against the bars of the cage, his body bleeding from having hit himself at various points against the bars, his hands clawing at the air._

_"Ju, our love is a sin. Even if I could go back, I'd be taking you to hell with me. I should never have been born as your sister. I should never have fallen in love with you."  Hinata watched almost dispassionately, as red blood stained her white dress. Someone else swallowed painfully, someone else struggled to speak. __"Listen to me. One day, we may meet again. One day, we may be allowed to live again, no longer as brother and sister. We will be happy, and our love will not be sinful. But until that day, I must do this. I must take back my heart so you may live without its weight and find happiness with someone not forbidden to you." _

She took one last look at him. _"My death will set us free. Sayonara, itoshii." She closed her eyes, ignored his shouts. __"Aishiteru." _

The girl named Fa Nam slashed her throat and died instantly. The boy named Ju Golan watched her take her life, helplessly, and toppled to the floor at the same time she did, howling with grief. His death was slower, a bleeding of the spirit and of his humanity. 

Hakkai found himself sprawled on his knees in the clearing, breathing unevenly. He raised his head slowly, afraid of what he would see. Hinata was right across from him, lying down, with blood on her wrist. His breathing hitched, and his pupils dilated in fear, until he saw that despite the blood, she merely looked stunned, and was breathing normally. She lifted a hand to her throat, used the other hand to push herself up. Her dazed eyes took stock of her surroundings before they found his. Comprehension suddenly filled them.

Hakkai and Hinata looked into each other's eyes, and saw each other clear.

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Hinata was coming to. Her head ached like hell, and she could just make out that she'd expended energy creating a blasted fireball. Whether or not she had been able to blow up her target was another thing. 

_"So…you've finally woken up." The voice intruded into her consciousness, and she snapped her eyes open, suddenly on the alert. Despite her swimming head, she pulled herself together and stood up, wincing at the pain and looking around warily. _

The chamber was a bit more spacious than the last one she'd been in, and a lot more…grand, somehow. There were silken hangings on the wall, embroidered rugs on the floor. The designs looked like dragons fighting. She had been lying on a very comfortable futon, soft enough to suit even her bruised limbs. Curiously, however, the futon was next to a large mahogany bed, western in style, despite the dragons carved on the wood. Red and black warred with blues and greens. Hanging on the ceiling cave were chains, puzzling because they seemed to be attached to nothing and seemed to have little purpose. Here and there were outcroppings of the rock from which the cave was made, fashioned into candleholders and sculptures. A portion resembled a rock garden of sorts, with indoor plants and a small underground waterfall. The outer part of it had been destroyed recently, and gaped like a raw wound.

There was visibly no other person there except her, and yet she had heard someone speaking when she'd woken up.

_"Where are you hiding? Come out!" Hinata could sense the presence of danger, and had immediately assumed a fighting stance._

_"I am right in front of you."  A black-clad figure suddenly appeared before her. Hinata took a step back; a bit intimidated by the self-confidence he exuded, and then stood her ground. _

Homura raised an eyebrow at her involuntary retreat. _"Don't worry, I'm not going to eat you."_

_"I'm not appetizing. I'd curdle your stomach." Hinata was a trifle distracted by the chains she saw that were connected to his hands. He had matching wristbands, but she'd seen someone once who'd conjured chains from within his own flesh, and she wondered exactly how this one used his weaponry._

_"On the contrary…" Homura gave a wolfish smile. His strange eyes raked her from head to toe, whatever his expression was, he veiled it at once, but Hinata got the impression that he approved of what he saw. She sniffed derisively at the idea of giving a favorable appearance to a stranger who didn't matter, despite his undoubted good looks._

_"Dare wa?" she asked, belligerently._

The stranger raised an eyebrow. _"You've not heard of me?" He seemed genuinely puzzled at her ignorance, and a bit miffed._

Hinata raised an equally quizzical eyebrow. _"Do I state the obvious?" Honestly, was she expected to know every weirdo within five miles of her immediate vicinity?_

_"I'm known by many names, but I will give you the one your kind is more familiar with."  Hinata tapped her foot impatiently, as the guy paused for what she could only surmise was dramatic effect—actually, he just couldn't remember the last time he had to introduce himself, and also had to take a moment to choose from his names. _

_"Ore wa Homura Taishi, fighting god…"_

Hinata cocked her head to the side and waited for the drum roll and the thundering applause. Nothing . _"Nope, sorry, the name doesn't ring any bells. And you really have to work on that delivery thing."_

Homura bit back a laugh, amused at her juvenile antics, but kept his face as expressionless as usual. _"I'll keep that in mind."_

_"Well, you better. Or you could try for the strong, silent type. That could work better for you." Hinata, with tongue in cheek, bowed with a flourish as she introduced herself, __"Boku wa Kidou Hinata, not title needed."   _

_"Yes, I've been watching you…" again, the pause._

Hinata repressed a quiver of unease. The last time she'd heard that line, Hakkai had taken her on a trip to the past. _"Yeah, well, I get that a lot. Look, I'd love to stay and chat, but my friends are probably looking for me and I don't have time to play twenty questions. Ja ne."_

Homura appears in front of Hinata again, blocking her way. _"Matte…are you with Genjo Sanzo?"_

Thwarted from leaving, Hinata sighed with impatience. At hearing Sanzo's name, however, she became more alert, although only her eyes betrayed her. Her body had slouched in its usual defensive stance, with arms folded in front of her, like a child would. _"What do you care? But here's an answer: Iie." She moved to leave again._

Homura tried his materializing act again and grabs her by the wrist. _"Koateru…don't lie to me." His voice had turned stern._

Hinata tried to dislodge her wrist from his grasp, but his hand held her like the manacles he wore. Sighing, she gave up a little information, knowing Sanzo and his gang could take care of themselves, _"Look…I'm not personally involved with any of that. Don't get me wrong, I know of Sanzo, his traveling companions and what he's supposed to do. I'm guessing that you're after the sutra he purportedly has with him. In truth, I don't think he has it. But I'm traveling with my sister and not any of them. They could go to __Tibet__ for all I care." Hinata didn't mind lying if that meant keeping anyone from using her to get to her friends. She'd gotten to like Sanzo, and that kid Goku, and even that hentai Gojyo…and…Hakkai._

Homura saw Hinata's eyes become unfocused, and knew that she wasn't seeing him at that moment. He suddenly grew light-headed, and realized that he was experiencing a wave of jealousy, an emotion he had been unfamiliar with until her. _"Honto ni?" Realizing, he was hurting her wrist, he released it and watched her rub the area. He checked himself from apologizing. A god never makes mistakes he should apologize for. __"But then, you just said that your friends were looking for you. Who else would qualify as…friends…if not them?" The question was delicately asked._

Busted, Hinata thought. _"Did I say that? I don't remember exactly."  Merciful Buddha, she was bad at this lying thing._

_"Sou…ka?"  Homura lowered his eyes briefly, smiling. __"Then you won't mind…if I disposed of them?" His strange bi-colored eyes looked up and glittered menacingly at the envisioned quartet. This time Hinata couldn't repress her shiver._

She looked with new eyes at the Taishi. He looked strong, perhaps as strong as Sanzo himself. The two had that same dignified bearing, that same air of not needing to prove themselves. With a look, they could freeze anyone in his tracks, and make the enemy think twice about attempting anything. She decided to give persuasion a try anyway.

_"I suggest you forget about them. I haven't seen you fight, but I know for a fact that Sanzo and his gang could beat anyone. They're that good." She crossed her fingers, hoping the warning would suffice, and that he wouldn't be challenged. She'd miscalculated. He actually looked more interested. _

Trust her to tell a fighting god not to fight. With one hand at her back, she painstakingly built an energy ball, distracting him by saying, _"Maybe you should forget about the sutra altogether, I mean, it's gonna be a lot of trouble keeping all the demons after it at bay, right?" The ball was almost done. It flamed brighter in her hand. __"Better to live without that headache." With a quick twist of her arm and a flick of her wrist, she sent the ball sailing directly towards him. _

It hit a shield, a good three feet around Homura. He cocked an eyebrow arrogantly at her. The bastard had known all along. Hinata couldn't help but be impressed, the energy field he had created was totally unfazed by her fireball. She chanted an incantation, and suddenly a dagger transmogrified in front of Homura, aiming for his throat. He deflected the dagger easily, using his chains to trap the weapon, releasing heat waves that melted it down into dust particles. Hinata looked on with interest. Now that, took skill. Unfortunately, the dagger trick had taken with it most of her strength as well.

_"I believe it's my turn now?" Homura politely asked. With no other warning, his shield disappeared and his chains moved, elongating in that split-second to wrap themselves around Hinata, and intertwining an inch away from her skin, effectively trapping her as she stood. She wondered what form of torture he would devise for a wayward guest who had tried to kill him in his own…er…cave._

Homura advanced slowly, smiling at her as though she had pleased him. _"Don't worry, you're not the first one who has foolishly tried to kill me here." It was almost as though he could read her mind. __"I take it that they are your friends, after all?"_

_"Okay, so I lied. Big deal. I'd do it again." Still defiant, Hinata couldn't resist adding. __"And you might as well kill me now, because if you don't and you try anything harmful to my friends, I'll make you pay somehow."_

Homura now stood an arm's length away. Hinata steeled herself for his attack. Would the chains squeeze the life out of her? Or would she be melted like her dagger—a present, by the way, from her mentor. She should have used something less precious. Over Homura's shoulder, she could see a red haze starting to form. Kurenai. It's about time, she thought. Glancing back at Homura, she continued her tangent. _"Oh, and they wouldn't take too kindly to your maltreating me either." Or so she hoped. Sanzo had always acted as though she were a nuisance._

Homura smiled that rare, unfettered smile no one of his usual acquaintance would recognize. It made Hinata a tad breathless actually, which she would repudiate even if she were forced to wade waist-deep into molten lava. _"I have no intention of maltreating you. Quite the opposite, in fact."  Before Hinata knew what he was about, Homura's head swooped down low and kissed her. For the brief duration of that kiss, Hinata did feel like she'd waded into molten lava. She closed her eyes at the horrified expression on Kurenai's face, and mentally told the scarlet dragon to mind his own beeswax, then found herself suddenly released from the chains, and without the pressure on her mouth. She opened her eyes in time to see Homura smile again, then with a __"Ja matta na…" he disappeared, his laughter echoing in the empty chamber._

Hinata fell on her bum and stared at the ground and not at the huffy Kurenai, who with a last reproachful look and a sudden *pop!*, also disappeared from her sight. Her old ailment, a psychically linked scar, suddenly formed and blood gushed out. _"Oh hell, not again." Walking forward a bit, with a sudden slump, Hinata laid herself down on one side of the futon, and assumed the fetal position to sleep as her body recovered from the shock.   _

Kurenai re-materialized by her side and turning into her oniichan Akaze, sent out waves to close the wound. For the hour it took her to recover, he would keep silent watch over her, like always.

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Yukaeshi suddenly felt a pain in her wrist. Halting in mid-run, she dropped her katana, and grabbed hold of the affected wrist. The throbbing had already gone down. What had happened to Hinata? Picking up the fallen weapon, she hurried along. She was getting nearer to her destination…and not a moment too soon…

_"Matte kudasai…" she whispered to the wind to bring her message to Hinata. __"Merciful Buddha, keep her safe, onegaishimasu."_

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Hakkai shook himself out of his reverie, and revved up Jeep to a speed beyond the maximum. Jeep rumbled in complaint. _"Gomen, tomodachi. Demo…I can't lose her a second time. I just can't. Not after I'd found her again. Not after that promise we'd made."_

Jeep rumbled in resigned acceptance. 

_"Arigatou gozaimasu, old friend." Hakkai patted Jeep's dashboard, and the two friends sped through the night._

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_"Well, we've waited long enough." Gojyo, with a slightly out-of-sorts Goku  by his side, asked of Sanzo, __"Shouldn't we follow Yukaeshi already?" Goku nodded in agreement. He'd been pissed at his rude awakening at the hands of Gojyo, but had put his rancor aside when he'd learned of Hinata's disappearance, and the subsequent departure of two in the group._

Sanzo deliberately clicked the barrel of his gun back in place. It was now fully loaded. _"Iku."_

(Possible insert: Battles that happen, obstructions that appear before all of them reach Hinata, at more or less the same time.)

**Chapter 2: Struggle **

Homura had come back. He'd found the campsite vacated by Sanzo and the others, and decided he might as well wait for them to reach him while he spent time with Hinata. The girl intrigued him now more than ever, and he'd only been in her company for a full fifteen minutes. What more if he'd been traveling with her for weeks? Her friends would surely come. In the meantime…

Homura entered his chamber, walking with pantherish grace over to the sleeping Hinata. The chains at his sides barely made marks on the ground, and clanked discreetly with each deliberate step he took. He lowered his lean length beside her, and half seated on the futon, and half leaning close, he placed his lips to her ear and whispered, "Who are you…and what have you done to me?" Taking hold of her wrist, he looked with puzzlement at the sealed wound, now only a reddened slash of dried blood. With gentle fingers, he touched it, feeling no abrasion. If not for the blood, and that already disappearing, he wouldn't have thought she'd been wounded. How did it happen? His eyes searched her body for weapons and more injuries. There were none of either. It was truly mysterious. 

Raising his voice, he addressed the invisible Akaze: _"I know you're here. I mean her no harm. You know that, otherwise you wouldn't have let me near her without a fight. Next time she gets into an accident, call me and I'll help take care of her." Despite the lack of reply, Homura felt satisfied that he'd gotten his point across. He turned his attention back to Hinata. _

Her fragrance came to him, beguiled him, not belied by any artificial scent. He had never been partial to flowery scents or what passed for them. She smelled of rain, and earth, and strangely, he caught the impression of fire in the sound of her breathing, in the throb of the pulse at her throat. It beat fast, as though her body were fighting against the weakness of her limbs, against the sleep brought on by exhaustion and loss of blood. It worried him that she seemed so pale and wan. _"Daijobu desu ka?" He leaned closer, wanting the feel of that pulse throb on his lips. __"Koateru", he ordered her, as he gave into temptation and lowered his head for the kiss._

Hinata breathed in deeply, and let out a long sigh. Her body ached, she seemed to be lying on something cold and hard, maybe stone, but moving her stiff fingers, she felt the solidity of earth yielding to her burrowing motions. Somewhere was the presence of water and she could hear its soft splash, smell its clean scent. There was something else, the sound of her own breathing, yes, but also the feel of a warm presence by her side, and a whisper of breath, "Koateru".

Answer? Nani? Her mind wanted to voice the question aloud but her throat suddenly felt too parched, and no sound came out, although she moved her lips convulsively, forming the words. To her shock, she felt someone's lips at her throat, and she struggled to open her heavy lids. 

Homura could sense that she was coming to, and was surprised at the relief that flooded through his system. Relief and anticipation. He lifted his lips from her throat, and brushed the fine hair away from her forehead. Seeing her struggle to open her eyes, he tenderly kissed her eyelids, one after the other, kissing his way down her cheek to capture her lips. Knowing how parched they were, he used the gentlest pressure…until he couldn't stand it anymore, and in the interest of giving moisture, or so he convinced himself was his motive, deepened the kiss.

Hinata murmured a protest, which was muffled by Homura's kiss. She felt drenched in heat and moisture, successfully opened her eyes, but had to shut them again because his face was too close, the sheen of intensity in his bi-colored eyes too much to take in. His left eye possessed the clear blue of the sea as it invites the daring to drown in its depths, and was no less beautiful paired with his right eye's striking golden color, blazing like the sun whose rays, when fallen to earth, give life, or the slow death of one stranded on desert soil. 

On the one hand it made her cross-eyed to look at his eyes…on the other hand, they possessed a unique beauty that made her want to stare.  

But what was she thinking? She recognized him now, Homura, the cad of war, the master strategist, focused on his own selfish ends. And she was letting him kiss her! Letting? He hadn't given her a choice!

Her sudden anger enabled Hinata to break the kiss, and shove at Homura. She gained about an inch of space between them, having little strength in her arms. _"HOMURA! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Hinata's voice sounded husky, weak and breathless to her ears, which irritated her to no end. That wasn't her voice! Well, no wonder she was breathless, the despicable god was practically lying on top of her! She squirmed restlessly under him, and glared at his—she insisted to herself—ugly, freakish eyes._

It was Homura who created more space between them, in a way that made it clear he was in control of the situation, his eyes laughing at her and his mouth set in a provocative smirk. _"Nani shiteru to omou?" he mocked, stilling her restless movements by holding her down with his strong hands. The action brought into prominence the iron bands at his wrists, and Hinata realized how easy it would be for her to get entangled in the long chains attached to each wristband. She had a sudden, alarming vision of herself wrapped in the series of chain-links, being drawn into Homura's waiting arms…   _

_"Aitchi ike!" Hinata screamed, and it was a blessed relief to hear that she could still make a full-throated scream under the circumstances…but Homura's eyes were no longer on her face but on the vee created by her disarranged clothing. He flicked a sensual, heavy-lidded glance at her vulnerable white face, the innocence reflected in her eyes, and stopped himself from ripping her shirt off, barely, as he'd intended. Hinata stopped fighting him as she saw the glaze of passion recede from his eyes…he blinked, and she saw how passion became cloaked with his habitual cool assessing gaze, simmering beneath the surface, like molten lava under hardened volcanic rock…she couldn't trust him, shouldn't…_

_"Naze…itoshii?" He delivered the endearment in his usual monotone voice, with little expression apart from that submerged passion. While he trapped her underneath his body, and held her with one hand, he freed his other hand and began toying with the neck of her blouse. His fingers delicately traced the edges, barely touching the skin of her shoulder, her collarbone, going lower, and lower still…_

_"Dame! Why are you doing this to me? I said I was sorry." Her breathing hitched as his hand came closer to her breast, but leveled out when he changed direction and started moving to trace upwards, to her neck. His touch burned her and yet she felt a trail of goose bumps mark the skin he'd touched, as though after having been deprived of intense heat, went the other extreme. Throughout, he watched her coolly, almost disinterestedly, and if he hadn't been near enough that she could feel his own heat, and the thump-thump of his own belabored heart, she would have suspected him of being unaffected._

_"Iie…you do not give orders, i…to…shii." As he uttered each spaced syllable, he kissed the base of her throat, bit her neck in that space right beneath chin, making her cry out in rage, fear and something else to which she had no name, and finally took her lips in another passionate kiss. He wasn't gentle this time, as though he were angry with her for getting above her place, Hinata thought. _

Homura was angry with himself, for his lack of control over his desire, and in the name of the Compassionate Buddha, for desiring a worthless human being at that. But that was a lie, she wasn't worthless…she tasted sweet, and she felt…right..._this felt right…He buried his hands in her hair, the short, silky strands crushed in his hand and glided through his fingers, as he deepened the kiss even more, willing her to respond in kind…_

Hinata moaned, half in pain at how he bruised her lips, and half because she felt herself yielding to the kiss, and she didn't want to…she didn't want to…

Homura felt her resistance, and redoubled his efforts. He wanted her to yield to him. Other females had done so, some of them goddesses and priestesses…Kanzeon Bosatsu herself favored him although she had never advanced beyond a friendly touch of the hand or a kiss on his brow. But he knew when a woman wanted him, goddess or human, and he knew that Hinata was not really fighting him as much as herself. _Don't fight me, he pleaded with her in his heart, __I love you…_

_"Aishiteru." He'd said it aloud. He'd broken their kiss before she could respond—or reject him—and whispered the words that he thought he would never say. Now he watched her, as her eyes slowly focused on him. She looked wary, accusatory, and disbelieving. She looked too damned young. He wondered how old she really was. Not that it mattered. He would still have her. __"I'm not doing this in revenge."_

_"What did you say?" There went that breathy voice again. Hinata was disgusted at herself.  Why, oh why, did she have to get sick and be stuck with an amorous god?_

_"You heard me. I will not repeat myself." He sounded haughty, petulant. Merciful Buddha, he was godamned frustrated! He didn't want her fear, although he had little chance of getting that, nor her hatred, which he was more likely to get, nor her love, which he could not bare to hope to get from her. He wanted her surrender, her passion, her acceptance of him—he wanted her to like him, and see something other than the wrathful god. He wanted her to give herself to him, the sooner, the better, or he would take what he wanted…_

_"May I have some water?" She was stalling. And she wanted to get out from under him; he was crushing all the oxygen from her already overtaxed lungs. _

The change in topic threw him off a little, and he sat up when he realized how his weight, although she could only have borne half of it, was too much for her. Damnation, he should have been more careful, he'd forgotten how fragile she was underneath her bravado. Her inner strength was sealed in a weak shell of a body, like any human. He would have to do something about that, make her immortal or something…Homura saw how she was trying to sit up, and stopped her. _"Lie down and rest. I'll get it."  He stood up, glad that he had something to keep his hands occupied, otherwise they'd stray towards her again. _

Hinata somehow managed to sit up anyway, watched him move towards the small waterfall. He opened a small flask, threw the contents onto the ground with a silent benediction and a prayer for her health, and filled the emptied flask with water. He then wet a piece of cloth, wrung it, and wet it again. 

Moving back to her side, Homura ordered tersely, _"Ok, open your mouth." Hinata obeyed, and he tipped the contents of the flask into her mouth. It tasted heavenly, clean and cold water, and a hint of…what seemed like sake. Hinata's eyes grew round as she realized he'd poured his best sake onto the ground so that she may have a container for drinking water, and greedily, she drank, until not a drop was left._

Homura couldn't help but stare as she drank her fill, noting how she took such pleasure in the basic act, how the smooth bareness of her arched neck was marred by his love-bite, and how he wanted to bestow one more, right there, where the undulating movement of her repetitive swallows peaked—she'd stopped, there was no more water. She was staring at him, and whatever she saw in his face caused a red flush to creep up her neck and explode in her cheeks. 

_"Onegai…don't look at me like that." Hinata whispered._

_"I'm a god, not a bodhisattva. I'm past the self-deprivation, the sacrifice and all other saintly acts. " Homura said in annoyance. __"You'd best not forget that…and what just happened, or what else nearly happened, between us—unless you want me to refresh your memory? Maybe add a truly unforgettable one?" An unholy gleam appeared in his eye, she wasn't sure whether in the gold or blue one, it flashed too quickly and was gone._

_"Iie...Doumo arigatou." She was really losing it if she'd started thanking __Homura for not raping her. It was disturbing however, that she felt uncomfortable using that word…for he had been very solicitous with her, and gentle, in his own way…he'd stopped himself. He could've overpowered her easily, but he didn't. It made her wonder whether there was any truth to his professed love for her. Surely not. He just wanted her, that he couldn't fake, and for some unfathomable reason of his own. Maybe on a whim. Maybe he was bored._

_"Naze…" She stopped. She didn't want to ask him why he wanted her, she wasn't sure she'd be given a straightforward answer. Or maybe she'd get the most straightforward answer, probably try to pummel him, and end up in an exhausted heap because the effort was too much. Better to keep her mouth shut._

_"Ng. Tsuzukeru." He'd taken the cloth out. He knelt by her side, and carefully, started wiping her face with the cooling cloth. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the soothing massage, halfway embarrassed that she still felt pinpricks of heat whenever his bare skin came into contact with hers. _

Homura couldn't believe he was acting as her maidservant. But the excuse it gave him to touch her was too good an opportunity to waste. And he was beginning to find out that he liked giving her pleasure. Oh, that she'd allow the greatest one he could give her. His hand movements became slower, his hand moved down again…

Hinata felt her shirt falling off at the shoulder, and shivered at the cold. When she moved to push it back up, her hand was swatted away. He was moving the cloth downwards…

He'd bared her breast in a swift maneuver, and apart from a slight demur, she wasn't doing anything. He circled the peak with the cloth, his mouth going dry as the coolness of the cloth changed the landscape of her sensitive skin—would it react the same way to his burning hand? Before he gave into temptation, he flung the cloth aside and stood up. _"Cover yourself."  He walked quickly to the waterfall and splashed his face with water. When that didn't work, he doused his head into the shallow pool. When that still didn't work, he briefly considered taking off his clothing and stepping into the waist-high pool. He decided against it. He couldn't trust himself to behave properly once he'd taken off his clothes. What's to stop him from slashing off hers? It would be so easy. His hand itched to reach for his dagger and start slicing away. Flimsy buttons. Thin strings. A fastener or two. And he'd have her to himself, skin to skin…_

_"Whatever it is you're thinking, I don't think I like it." Hinata's voice was strong, if a bit shaky. __"I won't allow it."_

Rage exploded in his head. He moved so fast, Hinata didn't even see him coming at her, he was just suddenly there, he'd backed her to the wall, and his arms were at her sides, trapping her effectively. _"As I said, you do not give the orders around here. You should have kept quiet, been glad I was thinking instead of acting on my desires." A dagger flashed in his hand. __"See this? I was just thinking how easy it would be, if I slashed at that pitiful barrier of clothing that you humans consider the trappings of dignity. What then? What's to stop me from doing anything I want with you? Who is to say that you were not lucky to have a god compliment you in such a manner? For that is what they will say, whether you insist you were forced or not." He popped off the first button, Then the second…_

Hinata was shaking from reaction, but with anger and not from fear. She could protect herself, although he was far more skilled than she, she would fight him…until she saw what was behind his rage—the hurt. He had been struggling with himself, and she had intruded in the rudest manner possible. He had been thinking of her…and the best that he could do for her. She had been thinking the worst of him and what she would do to go against him. Suddenly, she saw something else besides the Homura of old, she saw the humanity within the god. 

_"Gomen." Of their own volition, Hinata's arms curled around Homura's neck. He stiffened. __"Gomen nasai." She kissed him slowly, lingeringly, felt the rigidity of his rejection, and poured her remorse in the kiss, until he dropped his dagger, crushed her to him, and gave her a soul-drugging, heart-wrenching response, giving back her tentative kiss with interest._

A wolf whistle sounded, effectively ending the kiss. Homura shielded Hinata and faced the intruder. 

_"Looks like we shouldn't have hurried to rescue our dear Hinata. She seems to be doing fine to me. Quite fit enough, shall we say, for some moderate exercise?"  Gojyo's playful tone and lascivious grin didn't quite match the seriousness in his red eyes, as he stared at the clasped hands of the couple before him—for they did look like a couple, even if he hadn't been able to see the kiss. Homura had taken a protective and aggressive stance, and it wasn't helping that the usually bossy Hinata was tongue-tied, looked guilty, and had accepted the covering given by someone she had professed to dislike. _

Yukaeshi looked on, silently. Her katana was ready, and her narrowed eyes were fixed on Homura, as though deciding what piece of him she would cut first. She would not have hesitated if she hadn't seen the impassioned kiss that Hinata had shared with him. She'd come in earlier than Gojyo, and seen more than he had. Plus she knew her sister. Hinata would have to be halfway in love with the god to be so blatant. She waited for a signal from her sister. 

Self-consciously, Hinata let go of Homura's hand, and moved forward, beside him instead of behind him. Her eyes pleaded with her nee-chan to understand. They also slanted towards Gojyo in flustered annoyance. She was about to put a blister in Gojyo's ear for the moral tone he was taking, while he himself was a ladies' man, when the sight behind Gojyo stopped her.

Sanzo was fanning himself deliberately and was looking at Homura as though considering whether he should shoot the god or use his handy harissen, since it was already out anyway. He looked like he hadn't had a smoke for weeks, and was suffering from serious nicotine deprivation. Not a good sign. 

Hinata was torn between warning Sanzo that Homura was after the sutra, and telling Homura to flee before Sanzo began chanting his incantations. The priest seemed on the verge of doing so. In a battle between a favored priest and a god, who would win? Who would Buddha reward? Probably neither.  

The usual cheerful and mischievous Goku was surprisingly sober, as he looked with puzzlement at Homura and Hinata on one end, and his companions on the other, and back again. He looked hungry, which wasn't surprising, but wasn't jumping up and down looking for food in other people's belongings, or bothering them with questions, which was very unusual. He gave Hinata a weak smile and bared his teeth with a growl aimed at Homura.

But Homura wasn't looking at Goku, and neither was Hinata anymore. Their attention had been caught by the quietly dignified young man who was moving to the forefront of the quartet, his monocle bouncing to and fro on its string, his dark hair hiding one eye, and a mysterious smile pasted on his pleasant but at the same time curiously noncommittal face. _"It's good to see you again", he addressed Hinata, __"imouto." _

At his words, all but Yukaeshi, Sanzo and Homura looked askance at him. Goku thought he had lost his mind. Gojyo understood why he'd been distant lately. Hinata couldn't believe he would be so bold as to announce to the others their previous bond._ "I apologize for my tardiness, we had to take care of…a couple of things." Hakkai continued.__ He acted like an errant guest late for a party._

For the first time, Hinata noticed two bound and gagged figures to the side of Gojyo. Mr. Mugon-no-Tonma and Mr. Beaky-Baishofu. 

_"Hakkai, tsk…tsk, you've spent too much time out of polite company, your polished conversation is getting rusty. They are thugs, not things." Gojyo obligingly gave the figures a helpful push with his booted foot. They rolled towards Homura, who instead of showing his outrage hid his ire with a cool smile. _

Sanzo snapped his fan shut. _"I certainly wouldn't consider you to be polite company, Gojyo, and unfortunately, Hakkai-san has spent most of his time with you."_

Gojyo gave Sanzo a leering smile, lifted a lit cigarette he'd stuck to a hole in the wall, took a drag, and blew a smoke ring at the priest. _"Jealous?" Then he laughed._

Goku kicked Gojyo's shin, which took care of the laughter. _"Ow! You little runt!" Gojyo looked ready to take Goku by the neck of his shirt, and shake the fleas off of him. Goku, however, had already run for cover behind Sanzo, and up onto a slab of rock near the ceiling of the cave. He stuck out his tongue at Gojyo, who shook a fist at him and debated whether he should throw his last beer can at the little monkey. He decided to take a swig from it instead. Sanzo's lips twitched as though he wanted to laugh at them both. Or kill them both, if they made just a wee bit more noise._

Yukaeshi sheathed her katana, still silent. She would wait this out. It was enough for her that Hinata looked unharmed and in full possession of her will. Yukaeshi would give her  a blistering sermon later about fraternizing with a Taishi. It just wasn't done, no matter how appealing this one may be. She studied him, grudgingly allowing that he was very appealing indeed. Not good enough for her sister, of course, but most charming, even with that warlike expression on his face.

Hakkai had not taken his eyes off Hinata._"I stand corrected, and hope I haven't offended any sensibilities with my non sequitur." Hakkai extended a helping hand towards her that she may step over the two sleeping thugs, and continued, __"Shall we go?"_

Homura stepped into Hakkai's line of sight, and cut off Hakkai's view of Hinata. _"Touch her, and you die." Again, that quiet steel._

Hakkai never lost his smile. But the tension in the room was palpable, and those who knew him best, and knew the rare times when he loosed his temper, felt apprehensive in spite of themselves. _"No need to be rude, my dear god. Remember your place. It is taboo for a god to fall in love with a human, much less think of having a relationship with her and ultimately, a child by her, which will result" and at this he looked apologetically towards his best friend Gojyo, who shrugged uncaringly, __" in a child no more fortunate than he or she bred from a demon and a human."_

_"It is also forbidden for a brother to have feelings for his own sister, isn't that right, priest?" Homura had addressed his question to Sanzo, but did not leave off staring at Hakkai, whose smile turned even pleasanter as the room temperature went down a few more degrees. _

Hinata adjusted her posture and Homura broke eye contact with his rival, thinking she was leaving him. _"Hinata-san, you have only to ask…I will become  mortal. You have already changed me. Because of you, I have questioned the superiority of the gods. I have been ashamed of my arrogance, even when I struggled to justify my actions through my status. You deserve to be loved by someone less tarnished than I, but I am selfish enough to ask for your love in return. If that means I must give up my being a god, I will turn my back on heaven, because without you, I will be void, neither god, nor man, merely emptiness."  It was a solemn oath. _

Hinata couldn't believe what he was sacrificing. _"You'll be transmigrated! Anata wa baka desu ka?"   _

_"Aishiteru." Homura said, simply, willing her to believe it. __"Aishiteru, Hinata-san." _

He had repeated himself, a god who had adamantly said he wouldn't. He had declared himself in front of men who might ridicule him, had humbled himself, for her. Perhaps she had believed it all along, Hinata thought. 

Hinata looked at Hakkai, her friend, and the man who would've been her lover, if they had not found out that she was the reincarnation of his sister.

Seeing her wavering decision, Hakkai moved towards her. _"Hinata-san, in this lifetime, you are not my sister. In this lifetime, we are given another chance to be together. Do you think it was a coincidence that we became friends? This is our destiny. We must meet it." He stopped smiling and showed her his true face, and she gasped. __"Maybe we will not forget. Maybe neither of us would be able to forget that we once were tied by blood. So be it. If my karma is to lose you, because I killed—massacred— for you, so be it. But remember imouto, I will do it again. I will become a demon for you…Aishiteru."_

Hinata looked from one to the other. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry, at the absurdity of her situation and the bitterness it would wreak. Her anguish was near unbearable.

_"I am not worthy of such promises, and yet you have given them to me. Both of you deserve an answer. But I cannot give it to you until my judgment becomes unclouded. This is a matter of the heart, true, but my heart is too conflicted. I need time." Hinata swayed a bit, as dizziness passed over her. Hamoru and Hakkai steady her. She brushes off their hands. They both look hurt. __"Daijoubu desu. Please do not concern yourselves."_

_"You have a fever.  I should have noticed it earlier." Hakkai, the healer, spoke dispassionately, but everyone knew that he was worried. __ "You also have had nothing to eat." As he glared at Homura, brief resentment filled Hakkai's eye before it settled to its usual placidity. _

_"I'd given you water because I wanted to see if you could keep it down. We have provisions." Hamoru was equally dispassionate, and equally hiding his being upset. But he had good as revealed it when he offered a half-explanation to Hakkai's veiled accusation of neglectfulness. __"You must rest. We do not need an answer right away. Just let me—us (*slight change in tone*)— take care of you."_

_"I would rather you didn't, I would rather be alone." Hinata didn't want the stress of seeing them fight over what was best for her condition. She shuddered to think what Hakkai would do if he learned of the impromptu sponge bath that Homura had given her. From the heated glint in Hamoru's golden eye, Hinata had a suspicion that he would love a repeat performance. Or relating the tale to her bro—friend. _

For the first time in her life, Hinata fainted out of sheer exhaustion.

The two rivals grabbed to cushion her, but ended up entangling their arms in air.

_"I will take care of her." Kanzeon was suddenly in their midst, and cradling the sleeping Hinata. __"You boys run along. Try not to fight, or your goddess will be very, very angry. Now, scoot! You've pestered Hinata-chan enough." _

Kanzeon and Hinata disappeared. 

Homura and Hakkai were left standing with their arms akimbo, and with their best mates looking on with fascinated horror. Somebody tittered. It came from above—a little monkey boy mayhap.

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**Chapter 3: Remembrance**

Hinata awoke to the sound of clinking cubes. 

_"Are…why do I keep winking out and waking in strange places?" Hinata placed her aching head in her hands, wincing at her buzzing head. _

A tinkling laugh accompanied the sound of cubes hitting against each other, porcelain ringing against porcelain, or the ivory keys of a piano sending out a strange, lilting tune. Hinata raised her head an inch and looked towards the sound. One of the most beautiful women she'd ever seen was gazing towards her. The woman was idly running her hands over mahjong pieces that danced to her unspoken command. Her long hair draped over her shoulders, and her vivid, slanting, eyes looked at Hinata shrewdly, with infinite patience. 

Hinata knew the Compassionate Buddha was assessing her. Lowering her eyes at the dazzling and unnerving woman's gaze, Hinata shifted her focus to Kanzeon's opponent, who seemed to be a mere child of ten, with his brow furrowed in concentration, about to make the next move. He completely ignored Hinata, engrossed in the game. 

_"He isn't being rude, my dear, just shy for the moment. It's not everyday that we receive visitors, and certainly not the Goddess of Death." Kanzeon's tone was dry, but it couldn't mar the musicality of her voice. _

Hinata's eyes snapped back to the Buddha's face. As far as she knew, no one else had any idea of her title and capacity. So far everyone she encountered just considered her a human oddity. 

Kanzeon had turned her eyes back to the ivory game. _"Oh yes, dear Hinata, I know who you are. How else would I have countenanced Homura's—shall we say, being enamored of you? Not that I'm much of a meddler…" At this, Kanzeon gave Hinata a sideways smile. __"I wouldn't have intervened at all, if only you hadn't proved too much of a distraction for Sanzo's group. They are veering away from the path of their mission. I don't blame that polite youkkai. It was inevitable that you cross paths with him again."_

Hinata remained silent. Somehow, she didn't feel like interrupting the Buddha's musings. If she had someone to respect more than Sanzo or her onesan, it would be this powerful woman. Having Kanzeon rattle off information about her own life however, made Hinata a tad uncomfortable. Hinata felt like transparent glass being pierced by the Buddha's incandescent gaze.

_"Leaving this triangular romance unresolved will be playing into Gyokumen's hands. We wouldn't want to do that now, would we?"_

_"What would you have me do, Bosetsu-sama?" Hinata felt compelled to speak. She wasn't used to asking for answers, but if anyone had them…_

_"Child, I do not provide you with answers, I merely inspire them." Beneath the playful tone, was a decided rap on the knuckles. __"I know of your past, I may have an inkling of your future path, but I leave it to you to find your way. You, Homura, Hakkai—the strands of destiny have bound the three of you together, and you must unravel the truth for yourselves."_

_"Bosetsu-sama, then why am I here?" Hinata hated to sound petulant, but really, she'd had enough of quizzes. She felt like a rag doll being played by the fates, the gods, and that one demon who was her brother at one time._

_"To give you a bit of a rest, of course." Now there could be no mistaking the laughter behind that mellifluous voice. __"I know it's been hard for you, juggled back and forth by your emotions, not knowing where to turn, what comes next." _

Somehow, Hinata felt comforted by Kanzeon's words, soothed by the orchestrated dance of ivory on marble. Her quick flash of anger was banked, and her questing spirit settled. That is why she was unable to dissemble when Kanzeon's next question came out of nowhere.

_"What do you feel for the demon?"_

_"Love." The answer came from the deepest part of her, the part where memories are hidden, and where memories have sprung._

_"What do you feel for the god?" Again, it was a direct question that required a direct answer, and without any time allowed for thinking._

_"Love." Hinata closed her eyes at the despair she suddenly felt. How can two hold such sway over her emotions? Was she going insane?_

The Buddha sighed. The ivory cubes stopped their dance. The child looked up from his abstraction and glanced with unblinking, soul-deep, wizened eyes at Hinata. He had no pupils. The eyes glared at her, like two suns in a deep-blue sky, too brilliant to look at without pain, and too compelling to ignore. They seemed to take in everything at once, laying bare her secrets, stripping away her pretensions. If he had stared and not merely glanced, Hinata was sure her soul would have flown out of her body and gone to him.

_"You do not want to hurt either one and so you hide from the truth. You do not want to risk being hurt and so you hide from the truth. You love them both, this is a half-truth. You have yet to speak the whole." The child resumed his game, initiating the play by a wave of his hand. His pieces danced to a tune that was less smoothly flowing than Kanzeon's but had its own charm, a discordant note striking with deliberate collisions, marking time in a discernible but unpredictable pattern. _

Hinata was still reeling from what he had said, and could only feel pinpricks of reaction when the colliding ivory pieces sounded.

Kanzeon was shaking her head at the boy. _"You are too impatient." She turned to Hinata. __"He is not feeling very well today. He is concerned about you as well."_

Hinata could only nod her head. She could hardly be in any position to contradict a child blessed with the sight. Not when his words struck home. _  _

Kanzeon sighed again. _"I had hoped it would not come to this. But you have to decide. You have to know, else the journey will not resume. Time is running out for your friends. You know that better than I, Goddess who deals in Death."_

_"They will not die." Hinata spoke the words to make them true._

_"They will not, because you have the answer that would end the confusion and that would untangle webbed destiny for each to move on." Kanzeon spoke with complete conviction. __"Return to the world, dear Hinata. Ganbatte kudasai."_

_"Ganbatte kudasai." The child's wish echoed in Hinata's mind…_

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Yukaeshi yawned with boredom as yet another stray demon came her way. Why she had ended up in a bar, with these disgusting creatures falling all over her, in all their crude glory, was that Sanzo's fault…and partly her sister's. If Hinata hadn't taken it upon herself to kiss not one, but two unsuitable males, then she—Yukaeshi—wouldn't be wasting her time trying to keep those same two unmentionables from nicking their pretty faces before Hinata gave her blessing. Really, why did men insist on being pig-headed? Yukaeshi's katana slashed at a leering demon's face, successfully splitting the grin in two. Yeuch. Now she'd have to clean her sword again.

Swiping through air to get rid of the blood on her katana, Yukaeshi looked over her shoulder at the seated Sanzo, and said through clenched teeth: _"Why don't you get off your butt and knock some sense into your comrades? They're enjoying this too much."_

Deprived of his cigarettes, Sanzo was in no mood to accede to the cause of his deprivation. Just to piss her off some more, he toyed with the diadem on his head, giving off the impression that he was more concerned with its position on his blond hair and on whether the folds of the cloth fell just right, rather than her "request". _"Whether I joined in or not, told the kappa to quit it, the stupid ape to go stuff himself, whatever—it would make little difference. Kougaiji's minions would keep coming, and your sister's lovers along with those two children would still make it a contest among themselves to get rid of the most number. Idiots."_

_"You're no fun, Sanzo!" Gojyo complained as his sickle cut through a throng of youkkai. __"Sitting there and letting us do the dirty work." He was grinning from ear to ear._

_"Leave the damned kitchen out of this, you morons!" A whirling dervish of a demon, Goku barred the way to the kitchen. He was giving out his orders to the harried cook, who was about ready to cry at the destruction of the bar, but was too grateful to Goku for keeping the demons at bay, that despite shaky hands she was still preparing everything he was shouting out to her._

 _"Had enough Hakkai?" Homura's chains and flaming sword had decimated the number of youkkai by a fourth of their original number. He alternated mangling, strangling, cutting to pieces and melting the demon horde, but his shield kept his clothing immaculate despite all the bloodshed._

Hakkai smiled at the implied insult. He smiled at every demon he killed. If a very polite waiter sat you down comfortably, and said _"Irashaimase" as he served you poisoned food, that would be Hakkai's manner. __So kind of you to die. There goes an ugly demon. __Please don't get lost on the way to hell. There goes an uglier demon. __Come again when you've re-attached your head. Well, that one looked better without his head, anyway. And on he went. __"Only an ignorant god will turn death into a contest." Immediately after he said it, Hakkai knew he had lost a point. He had never been rude to anyone until Homura had come along._

Stung, Homura did not notice Hakkai's expression, as though the latter had swallowed a dollop of bitter demon flesh. _"You know nothing about me, ahou."_

_"I know that Hinata deserves better." What the hell, Hakkai thought, rudeness was a liberating change from his usual unspoken rage._

_"Better than you, certainly." Homura bit back, taking out his frustration on hapless demons._

_"Better than both of you, morons." Yukaeshi couldn't stand the petty squabbling anymore, and the stench of death. __"Stay here and play out this imbecilic contest if you want. I'm leaving. Hinata's better off without either of you."_

Hakkai and Homura paused to watch over Yukaeshi's progress to the front door. She dealt competently with every demon she encountered, but the two did not turn their eyes away until they saw the shadow of Sanzo blur through in her wake, getting rid of inching demons, unnoticed by her. 

Hakkai and Homura resumed fighting demons and bickering with each other. 

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Outside, Yukaeshi breathed in the pure air, and prayed for the Buddha to keep Hinata with her until the two morons inside got themselves killed. It was a wonder that Hinata had found either one attractive after the first 3 seconds. They were really very annoying. Just like this priest who insisted on cutting up her peace. No matter. She'd pretend he wasn't there.

Yukaeshi sat herself down on a mossy portion of the front yard, half-hidden by shadows, and with her back to a wall. She faced a closed window of the bar, the sounds of fighting came through a little muffled where she was sitting, and a warm breeze stirred the hairs at the nape of her neck, cooling down the temperature brought on by temper and exertion.  

To her annoyance, Sanzo dared (deigned, on his part) to sit right next to her. He had settled far enough that she couldn't complain without seeming priggish, and near enough to make her feel uncomfortable. She didn't know what he was thinking, for he'd chosen the shadowed side rather than the lighted one on her right. 

_"What the hell are you doing, following me?" Yukaeshi started pleasantly enough; or she'd meant to, anyway._

_"Don't flatter yourself.  I wanted to get as far away from those idiots as possible. This'll take long, considering their incompetence, so I might as well sleep here. Oyasuminasai." That said Sanzo gave every appearance of falling asleep. _

_ "Oyasumi…Arigatou." The "Thank You" was abruptly said. Yukaeshi believed in giving even demons their due…but uneasy with Sanzo and not wanting to be at a disadvantage, she wouldn't have spoken it if she'd known he was still awake._

_"For what?" Sanzo just had to hear the words out loud._

_"For watching my back…even though I didn't need it." Yukaeshi said the first half of that sentence in a rush._

_"Ng." Sanzo gave a noncommittal acknowledgment of sorts. Then: __"You would've done the same for me…even though I'd need it less."_

For once, Yukaeshi decided to ignore his arrogance. Thirty minutes passed, without either making a movement or a sound. 

_"Why don't you get some sleep?" Sanzo ironed the irritation out of his voice. He could sense the tension in her body, and assumed it was because of his unwanted presence. Somehow, that hurt a bit. Damned if he was gonna show it though._

_"There's a sickle moon out…the same moon that hung in the sky like a death scythe when my whole family was massacred…what was left of our family anyway. We are a family cursed to die violently." Yukaeshi couldn't believe she was telling this loathed stranger the real reason for her frequent bouts of insomnia. __"I still have nightmares of blood on the moon. I remember how it shone on the…the corpses of the ones I had known better than to love." Her tone implied that she had loved them, and too well at that__. Also, that she was afraid to love and be hurt, as deeply, again.__ "The memories became bearable only when I learned that Hinata was alive. But they're still painful."_

Yukaeshi waited for the half-assed reassurance the likes of which she'd gotten from long-dead friends who knew her story. She hadn't blamed them, for they couldn't possibly fully comprehend the horror of it. She got the unexpected this time: empathy.

_"My master was murdered during a full moon. When it rains, when the full moon is out, whenever I hear the cry of a demon and look into a demon's eyes, I remember how I wasn't able to save him." Sanzo's monotone wasn't able to hide his bitterness. __"The cycle of life turns, as vibrant as the sun…its sister moon turns, and death mirrors the cycle. My master—he whom I respected above any notion of God and whom I wanted to be worthy of calling father, died when the moon was at its peak. Did your family die at the end or the beginning? The moon marks the moment, but indefinitely, indifferently."_

Yukaeshi's protective wall of pretended loathing crumbled. Such pain in someone so strong…Her hand crept hesitantly and held the back of Sanzo's. Sanzo turned his palm over and clasped her hand in his. Nothing else was exchanged, not words, nor kisses. No other body part connected, not even a meeting of eyes—they faced opposite directions. Palm to palm, what linked them was their understanding of each other, and their painful memories. 

Yukaeshi slept without nightmares for the first time. 

Sanzo looked upon the moon, the witness to both tragedies, without revulsion for the first time. With warmth spreading from Yukaeshi's palm to his, he decided that the moon could be beautiful and not just cold…

                                               *_In life I know_

_                                                That there is lots of grief_

_                                                But your love is my relief_

_                                                Tears in my eyes burn_

_                                                While I'm waiting_

_                                                While I'm waiting for my turn you see_

_                                                I don't wanna wait in vain for your love…_

_                                                …But the waiting feeling's fine…*_

Hell, he hadn't craved a cigarette the whole time.  

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To say the bar was a mess would be an understatement. To say the bar was a bar would be a wide stretch of the imagination. The meager light afforded by the swinging, half-broken lamp revealed that three of the four walls were gone. The tables had been smashed into smithereens. Breathing inside the wrecked space meant snorting splinters. A mixture of green, blue, red and purple blood had painted the surfaces black, if the acid hadn't worn them through completely. Small fires announced where alcohol had been spilled. Only the kitchen remained intact, thanks to Goku's efforts. He was there in the aftermath, gulping down large quantities of food. 

_"Oy, you stupid ape! Where's your cook?" Gojyo kicked the last serviceable, albeit upended, chair over so he could sit on it. The wooden structure wobbled a bit, groaned, but miraculously held together under his weight._

*munching sounds* Goku freed one of his fingers to point to where the cook had fainted dead away under the table. She still grasped a ladle in one hand. 

It was an indication of Gojyo's exhaustion that he didn't take advantage of a helpless female by "reviving" her in his "special" way. _"Chikusou! I bet there's no more beer in this joint!" Gojyo mournfully looked down at his messy shoes—one had been bloodstained royal purple; the other was a mix of blue and red splatters. A beer bottle rolled over to the purpled shoe, kicked by Hakkai. Gojyo brightened up as he snatched it and removed the cap in a practiced move. __"Arigatou! Nothing like beer after a good, hard battle." *gulp*sigh* __" Gimme some food, why don't you? Useless monkey!"_

Hakkai and Homura were breathing heavily, still standing, still facing each other, in the midst of the chaos. Despite themselves, they had developed a healthy respect of each other throughout the course of the battle. It really pissed them off. Pity there weren't any more opponents to kill.

Annoyed at the duo's stubborn stalemate, Gojyo ducked and threw the empty bottle at the back of Homura's knees, while Goku aimed a large bratwurst at where Gojyo's head was supposed to be—it hit Hakkai instead. The two combatants fell down at the same time. The last wall standing crashed after them. 

_"This isn't…" *pant* Hakkai began…_

*pant* _"I'll say when it isn't…" Homura was saying…_

_"Over!" The two conked out in exhaustion after the joint outburst. The roof caved in on their heads._

*snores*

Goku and Gojyo roll their eyes heavenward. _"Baka!" they both said to the two, then looked at each other…_

_"You too, dirty kappa!"_

_"Over to you stupid ape!"_

Good nature restored, Goku resumed eating. Hearing Gojyo's stomach rumble, the kid sighed and relented by throwing a *insert name of food* which Gojyo easily caught in one hand.

_"Choke on it!"_

_"Thanks for nothing!"_

*grins*

*munching noises*

_"What the hell have you guys been up to?" At Hinata's shout, Gojyo's chair finally collapsed, but Homura cushioned his fall. The god grunted in annoyance at being woken, then scrambled to stand up when he saw Hinata had returned. Gojyo deliberately slumped, giving Hakkai, who'd woken at Hinata's shout, more time to reach her side._

_"Hinata-chan! Ne, daijobu desu ka?" He grabbed hold of Hinata's hand, ignoring Homura's snarl._

Hinata snatched her hand away from Hakkai's hold, annoyed with all of them. _"All this, after Kanzeon-sama told you to be civilized!" She stomped away from the group. Hakkai, who'd grabbed hold of her hand again, was dragged along. _

_"Get off me, you lumbering jackass of a kappa!" Homura shoved despairingly at Gojyo._

The red-haired demon turned his slumberous eyes to the fighting god, pointed a finger at the red circle on Homura's forehead, and in his best flirtatious tone, mocked. _"Now, now, let's give the two lovebirds a few moments. Say, why don't you and I—get better acquainted, ne?"_

This display gave Homura enough motivation to finally dislodge Gojyo. The river demon just rolled over and whooped with laughter. Homura spared him a disgusted look, then left in pursuit of Hinata and Hakkai.

Gojyo wiped at the tears he'd dredged with the laughter. _"Now, that was fun, ne, Goku?"_

His laughter died when he saw that the little monkey was looking to where the three had gone. He held a turnip by the roots, in his upraised hand, as though he had been about to offer it to someone. His other hand was clenched into a fist of defeat. The whole pose spoke of dejection. 

Gojyo suddenly remembered that Goku was eighteen in Earth years, although he looked and acted like a kid…and that Goku had called out Hinata's name in his sleep. He moved forward and slung an arm over Goku's shoulders. _"Let's see if you can drink me under the table, eh, kid? My treat."_

Goku shook off his arm, and Gojyo saw how the kid was valiantly trying to shake off his depression as well. _"Feh! You're a lousy drunk, Gojyo."_

_"All the better for me to have a good lay, I say!" Gojyo winked. __"C'mon, this place is sooo dead." *snickers* __"Let me just wake up the girl first."_

_"Ack! You're disgusting! I'm not sleeping with you tonight!" Goku threw the turnip at Gojyo's leering face._

_I don't recall myself asking, stupid!" It was enough for Gojyo to see the sadness replaced by anger in Goku's wide amber eyes. Poor innocent kid. __"Why should I sleep with an ugly, smelly, flea-bitten monkey like you when I have Ms. Cook here, conveniently under the table?"_

_"Akagokiburi! You leave her alone, she's my cook!"_

And on they went.

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_"Chotto matte da yo!" Hakkai was careful not to grab hold of Hinata again, after having received a warning burn from Hinata's open palm. Before that he had felt something else, something that must have frightened Hinata enough to scald him. __"What's the big idea anyway, I just want to talk, and I promise I won't touch you.." Under his breath, he whispered: __"Not unless you want me to."_

Hinata kept on going. Her feet seemed to move on their own, her mind was too confused to manage her wayward appendages. Burning Hakkai hadn't been her intention, but she'd panicked, not wanting to return to the past. She was afraid that if she remembered any more, Fa Nam might take over and she's lose the Hinata who was formed long after the other girl had killed herself. 

A curtain of blue suddenly appeared a good 10 yards in front of her. Hinata stopped walking, and turned around. It appeared that she had become the center of a circular force field, the radius of which was an even 10 yards on all sides. She took a step forward. The field of blue moved to accommodate the change in position. _Shit. The curse floated from her mind and was expelled into the space in between herself and Hakkai, who was responsible for the impenetrable force field. She now faced him, crossing her arms and scowling, half in annoyance and half out of nervousness._

_"Gomen, but I really need to talk with you." Hakkai was smiling apologetically, he sounded apologetic, but Hinata could sense that he was far from being regretful. She could even pluck the strand of satisfaction in the thickening atmosphere belied by his unruffled demeanor. _

_"You take pleasure in locking me inside this prison you've created?" Hinata conjured a fiery set of bars to separate herself from Hakkai. __"You wish to recreate a past long-dead? What do you want from me?"_

Hakkai's expression didn't change, but his aura suddenly matched the blue mist. Hinata felt the cold blast of his hurt and her own shame. _"There is no need for theatrics. I do not need to be reminded of that day." He spoke forcefully, for all that his voice was so quiet. __"I remember everyday. I see that knife pierce your throat again and again. I feel the agony as though you'd slashed at me, as though my guts had spilled to the floor of that cell to mingle with your blood. I see your blood spread, I see myself touching it to feel the last of your warmth turn cold. Do not mock my grief. The death of a thousand demons could not relieve it. The sight of demon blood has not erased the memory of yours spilled. No matter how many times I kill, no matter how often I  create a sodden, multi-colored montage of massacred carcasses, I will find no more horrible sight than that of your limp body on the floor of that cell."_

Hakkai only stopped his embittered tangent when Hinata had drawn near and placed her fingers on his lips. He kissed them, and she snatched her hand away, as though she were the one burned this time. He smiled again. The force field shrunk a bit, one millimeter per second, as though he wanted to enclose her more securely, keep her closer to him, by depriving her of space to move away. Then the blue curtain widened again to its original size, bit by bit.

_"Forgive me." It seemed he meant it this time. __"I…seem to have little control over my emotions for the moment. I must be more exhausted from that bar fight, than I expected to be."_

Hinata nodded briefly. Then she cleared her throat. _"No, I'm sorry. Just because I was able to forget…"_

Again, she felt that flash of hurt from Hakkai. Hinata fell silent. How had her soul forgotten something so painful? If Hakkai hadn't broken into her defenses, would she have retrieved any memory of the past?__

_"Yes…well," Hakkai moved to sit on a nearby rock, looking tired all of a sudden, as though he were only feeling the effects of the fight now. __"The mind does what it can to minimize pain. Perhaps yours was the greater. You, after all, left me to live on without you. You couldn't bear to stay, even knowing you would be with me, that we'd be together."_

_* I'm better off dead in your eyes / in my eyes you're better off dead… / shadows fall as I push you away…*_

The thought whispered itself in Hinata's mind. She shivered at it's coldly determined reason, a fragment of another person's suffering, resonating within the corridors of her trove of memories, pushing at the hairline crack in the sealed entrance. Hakkai's presence shook her soul to its very core.

_"You would have suffered more with me beside you." Hinata hadn't consciously spoken, and yet she knew the words were hers._

Hakkai looked directly into her eyes. _"Yes…but I would have been happy to experience such pain. I would have begged for the chance."_

_*If love were a choice who would choose such exquisite pain?* He would. That is why you must make the decision for him. End his suffering. End yours._

Hinata's head throbbed with the effort to hold back the rush of memories. 

_"I died mad…didn't I? They'd broken me. They'd tied me, come at me again and again, exposed me to the elements…"_

_"Enough!" The cry was wrenched from him. He was breathing hard, the pleasant smile pasted on his face resembling that of a doll's. __"I ask you not to torture us both."_

_"It is you who wish to resolve this. Why flinch from the truth? It is you who batter at the defenses I've put up against hateful memory." Hinata didn't know why she was being cruel, but she couldn't seem to stop. Resentment was buried deep._

_* I've been crying all night alone / wishing you were here with me… / my life's an endless nightmare / running hopeless nowhere / you've cut an open wound / why did we end so soon / left out in the cold / I no longer see as you do / why did we end so soon / stories left untold / I cannot change to be the way you are / I've been crying all night alone / wishing you were here with me / dying 'coz you're not here / the night's so dark without you * _

Hinata breathed in deeply as she was bombarded with images and emotions, echoes of the girl who had sought refuge in death. 

Despair. Fear. Loneliness. 

_"Don't hate me for not being able to save you, Fa Nam. Don't hate me for coming too late." For once, Hakkai's voice was not smooth, but raw with pain._

There have been too many nights alone, time spent by him reliving the past, regretting the past, and longing for the past—longing for her. * _I lie awake and dream about you / where will life go without you / down this lonely road / I'll cross it on my own / left out in the cold *_

Despair. Loneliness. Regret. 

Hinata's anger and resentment dissipated as suddenly as it had appeared. _"I…she didn't…couldn't hate you. And she was lying. Her sanity returned when she saw your face again. It hurt that you looked exactly the same, unspoiled, unbeaten, and unwavering in your love for her. It made her feel more unworthy of you." Hinata gave into her own exhaustion, and sat down on the ground. _

Hakkai shook his head. _"God, if you only knew! I couldn't protect you. Not even from yourself. I was the worthless one." He stood up, only to kneel again at her feet, placing his head on her lap. Hinata stiffened in protest, then relaxed. Her hand hovered over his hair, before coming down and stroking the brown pelt. Hakkai closed his eyes at the fierce pleasure of her touch. He'd gone so long without it. He hadn't been able to get close to anyone, hadn't been able to feel much of anything for anyone, because he'd had too much pain inside of him to spare any room for other emotions. He'd gone so long without feeling happiness, it was a stranger to him now. _

Hinata cleared her throat, but it still came out husky. _"Hakkai, we should get up."_

Hakkai shook his head again. _"Please let us stay here awhile. Let me be close to you for a while. I miss you so." I love you so. But you won't love me back. Not anymore. "Please…just for a little while. Let us remember something besides pain." Before you leave me for him. Let me remember how you feel, how you smell, how you give of yourself so freely. Let me feel your warmth, let me hear the healthy beating of your heart, so steady now, no longer troubled by my presence, so alive, wanting to be alive…though not for me. Let me remember that you loved me enough to spend this remaining time with me._

Hinata remembered the promise. _We will meet again, maybe free to love again, no longer brother and sister… Fa Nam had believed they'd be lovers again. How was she to know that love would take on a different form for her? *__I've held on for so long / and there's nothing more to give / I've made up my mind / I'm gonna live my life again / I know I still love you but there's nothing more you can do / the right things are always the hardest things to do / when I look into your eyes, it's pain you cannot hide / you have to carry on / please forgive me…* Hinata saw one teardrop get lost in his brown tresses and moved to kiss the spot it fell on. _

Hakkai understood she was saying goodbye and kept his eyes closed. He would allow pain to enter later. Now he would just bask in her presence, knowing she cared for him, even if he couldn't have her whole heart. _* oh my sweet / give me one last chance / to show my love for you / just one last time to fall asleep in your arms / we had come so far together / now we don't even speak to each other / my words aren't strong enough / to speak my heart / so I'm only left with memories in my mind / these days seem so long without you / now the sun doesn't shine / as bright as it did when we were alone together / do you remember / the nights we spent together / just staring into the starry night / the pain hurts me like an open wound / please just tell me that you still love me / I know I made mistakes / and I am truly sorry / but I never thought that you'd say goodbye / I want to tell you these days seem so long without you / now the sun doesn't shine as bright as it did / when we were alone together / and I'll move on / my heart's broken for my first love / I know deep inside my heart / there are words / and those words are yours *_

_"Sayounara, itoshii."  Hakkai was the first one to say it, swallowing the hurt and burying it deep. __I release you from our love. The barrier of blue fell._

_"Sayounara, Golan." Hinata whispered into his hair. __I promise to keep the memory of our love.  _

Hinata looked up as the barrier disintegrated around them, just in time to catch Homura's stricken look as he took in the scene, the tears on her face, Hakkai's head on her lap. He looked as though someone had dealt him a deathblow.

Hinata's mouth formed a soundless, _"No…"_

But Homura had already gone.

_"…it's not what you think."_

The fighting god, believing himself defeated, had quit the field for once in his existence. 

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_* If love were a choice, who would choose such exquisite pain?* Tuptim, Anna and the King_

_                                * "Midway", "In the Cold", "Please Forgive Me" and "I Wish", songs by Student Rick_

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**Final Chapter: Rebirth**

Preview: Hinata X Homura song

                                    _          * Sometimes when you and I collide_

_                                                I fall into an ocean of you_

_                                                Pull me out in time_

_                                                Don't let me drown *_

* Sway by Bic Runga *

The end is VERY near. I wanna write more but I gotta finish something else! J


	2. Final Chapter: Rebirth

AWAKENING Final Chapter: Rebirth 

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Warning: Readers, the PG-13 scenarios are still there (couldn't bring myself to change those 'coz I was aiming for sweet and not just lustful, eek), but I've added something that blimey, makes this a lime, as requested. Read at your own peril, bwahahahaha…

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_"I don't get it…" _Goku hiccupped. _"Sumanu." _He carefully enunciated the word, noticing that he had a slight tendency to slur syllables after two hours of non-stop drinking. Interesting, really. Other than that, beer was great. Bitter as hell though, so he hurriedly swallowed the brew, but the way it slid down his throat was heavenly, and he loved how the warmth spread from his insides and curled at the edges of his fingers and toes. Fun. Now he understood why Gojyo kept drinking the stuff. He took another swig. Better and better. _"I'm glad you dragged me here, Gojyo."_

The kappa grinned winningly at the waitress who'd brought them another round, appreciating her come-hither eyes and noting how they became more inviting each time she sauntered to their table, or when they glanced back at him as she returned to the bar. She had a nice ass, he thought, before he turned his amused eyes on his companion. _"Glad you like it pet, since you're paying after all. But what is it exactly you don't get?"_

Goku blinked a few times. Was it…had Gojyo's antennae multiplied? Perplexing. But fun! Certainly… Gojyo must be trying out some new fashion. The playboy always did pay too much attention to his looks. Hmmm…now the cockroach was waving six fingers in front of his face.

Gojyo waved his two fingers, worried a bit at how Goku's eyes had trouble focusing. Maybe he should've gone easy on the little guy, it being the monkey's first time to drink alcohol—but who said the half-weight had to catch up to him, swig per swig? _"Yo, are you passing out on me?"_

Goku shook his head once, feeling his brains swimming in some of the beer, and closed his eyes. Maybe he should keep still for now. Gojyo had asked something…_"Er…what?" _He felt a bit more balanced, with his eyes closed. _"Nah…I'm okay. I just don't get it. What's with Sanzo nowadays? He seems…different."_

Gojyo's worry turned to amusement again, and devilry increased the red in his eyes. He wondered what exactly Goku had noticed, being the faithful watcher of the priest that he was. _"Different? How so?"_

_"Well…he's ruder." _Goku felt around his words, feeling a bit disloyal to be discussing Sanzo behind his back. But this was Gojyo anyway, and he _had _to talk to someone…_"I mean, he's always been blunt, but now even the women get snarled at. His bad temper's gotten worse, especially when Yukaeshi-neesan is around…does he…can Sanzo hate her?"_

_"You could say he feels strongly about her. " _Gojyo bit back a laugh. He wished Sanzo were here to hear this…how would he clear away Goku's confusion? The monk probably wouldn't bother, he'd just tell Goku to shut up. Gojyo would have loved to see the priest's expression though. Nowadays Sanzo seemed a bit more transparent. Ah women…what they could do to a guy…or for a guy. Gojyo's eyes wandered around the bar, studying the few women present, with equal pleasure. A little too early for them to be here, or perhaps he should say, way too late, since most of the patrons appeared to be hard-core drinkers.

_"But she's nice!" _Goku burst out. He'd opened his eyes, and there was a flash of indignation, and uncertainty, in the irises. Gojyo could tell that it took a lot for Goku to address what could only be conjectured as a deficiency in Sanzo's attitude—poor mite worshipped the ground Sanzo walked on, and until now, had never doubted the priest's justness, and apparent all around greatness for that matter. _"She's always been good to me, and she even tolerates YOU."_

_"Thanks for the compliment." _Gojyo's tone was wry. _"But have you ever noticed how she acts around Sanzo?" _His eyes lit upon a young girl-demon, who looked about fifteen. Pretty child, what was she doing in this joint? Her skin was an unusual shade of blue. Intriguing. Maybe Goku should pay more attention. If he read the signals right, she seemed to be interested in monkey boy. Well, well. And that lavender-haired woman by her side wasn't bad looking either. He treated the girls to one of his special smiles, and motioned for them to come closer, an invitation that had always worked before.

Oblivious to Gojyo's machinations, Goku nodded slowly. _"She's… _He hiccupped again. _"Sumanu…well, Yukaeshi-neesan keeps away from Sanzo. But if he were nicer to her, maybe she wouldn't be so stiff around him."_

_If anyone's going stiff, it's not Yukaeshi. _Gojyo decided the thought was better left unsaid. _"Stop worrying over those two. Sanzo looks out after Yukaeshi, and you know it. He's just being his usual grouchy self." _Sanzo, you bastard, I've perjured myself so you better treat that girl nice. The kid idolizes you, and you owe it to him to get your no-doubt exemplary self into gear, so he'll see how a man should act around a girl he could possibly love. _"What I'm worried about is you, Goku-kun, and Hina-chan."_

Amber eyes instantly became wary, and dropped away from Gojyo's piercing red stare. _"What about Hinata-chan?"_

_"Come off it kid, I know you've got a crush on her." _Aoi kodoma seemed to have understood his signal, and was making her glidingly slow progress towards them. To Gojyo's disappointment, the lavender-haired lady didn't move from her spot, three tables away, although the older girl glanced briefly at Gojyo as she exchanged a few words with the blue girl. Oh well, no matter, he was here to make sure that Goku take steps to get over Hinata. Gojyo knew women, and his assessment of the young one was that she would probably grow into a splendid seductress. The challenging look in her eyes announced that she had little scruple when it comes to getting what she wants; the chit already had that self-confidence only great beauty or great wealth could bring. She had the first and from the looks of her clothes and jewelry, plenty of the second. Goku could do much worse for a rebound girl.

_"What are you yapping about?" _Goku had turned belligerent. He didn't like being on the defensive. _"Even if it were true, and I'm not saying it is, well…it shouldn't matter that I…if I like her a little."_

_"You're on the losing end, kid. Hinata's got two guys chasing after her, and she doesn't need any badgering from you at the moment." _Better to spare the kid's pride by not saying he doesn't have a prayer of a chance where Hinata was concerned. She considered him a child, like the rest of them did…although he wasn't, not really. Goku's innocence was certainly misleading and even they, friends and travel companions who certainly knew better, usually forget his true age. _"What she needs are her friends to stand by her."_

_"I'm her friend." _Goku said it quietly, and then downed the rest of his beer. It was his ninth bottle. _Only a friend, but that should be enough for me._

_"Hey, cheer up Goku. Lookie here, a nice young girl's coming your way and if I don't miss my guess, she's gonna ask you to buy her a drink, and maybe dance with her a little. This may be your lucky day." _Gojyo couldn't help smirking at Goku's panicked expression, the brown hair flying wildly about as Goku whipped around to see…

The girl stood just behind Goku and was so close that he found himself staring at the girl's ample cleavage. Gojyo watched sympathetically as the monkey positively turned purple before he jerked his face up to stammer, _"You…you're…b-b-blue!"_

Gojyo laughed outright, but the girl merely smiled, losing none of her poise. _"My name is Kotori. I'm here with my sister Akane." _The girl then slyly turned her lapis lazuli eyes on Gojyo, who rightfully assumed that the last part of that was designed for him, but he decided that Akane could wait while he oversaw these two minors. _It wouldn't take too long, _Gojyo thought, grinning lasciviously as he pulled up a chair for Kotori. She managed to sit down with minimal pouting (Gojyo _had_ ignored her hint for him to leave) and major butt wiggling, focused on Goku again, and with a deliberately seductive smile, purred, _"And you are…?" _

Goku seemed at a loss for words in the face of such blatant suggestion. Gojyo hid his smile, but his eyes became more watchful when he noticed that the monkey's purplish hue had faded into ashen gray. Not for the first time did he wonder if Goku was okay. The blue girl scooted her chair closer to Goku, her breasts brushing the monkey's arm, very, very briefly, one would think it were an accident. Gojyo knew better. This was getting more interesting. 

Goku swallowed convulsively. _"I…"_ He seemed to have finally found the gumption to speak. The girl smiled encouragingly, invitingly at him. Goku's whiskey-colored eyes that were the lucky recipient of her melting gaze, widened more and more. _"I…I think I'm gonna be sick!" _Hardly were the words out of his mouth, when he promptly vomited nine bottles worth of beer on the girl's lap. 

Amidst the girl's outraged shrieks and Goku's repeated cries of _"Gomen! Gomen nasai!"_, Gojyo's pealing laughter didn't quite manage to drown all other sound in the noisy tavern…but he came pretty close.

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Yukaeshi's lashes slowly lifted…she'd been awake for over half an hour already, but had pretended that the languor she felt was due to fatigue rather than the heat emanating from Sanzo's body, so close to her own. His hand clasped hers, still, and sometime after midnight he'd enfolded her in his monk's robes. The cottony fabric carried his scent—it was a bit chastising for her, the anti-smoker, to go all fluttery at the mixture of cigarette smoke, sweat and…_Sanzou_…Yukaeshi had caught herself burrowing into the cloth as though it contained answers to the mystery of the man, and had hurriedly checked the action. It was a good thing that the light was bad, she'd fretted, or he'd have seen the blush that crept into her face. Even now, her cheeks burned at the thought that she'd be confronting Sanzo under modified circumstances. It seemed as thought the dawn had decided to rise in her cheeks, for the sky was gray, and dark clouds heavy with rain obscured the sun that should've been there. All of which seemed portentous of some impending disaster. Could she rely on her self-possession when Sanzo's around? The question itself bothered her, leaning towards a negation.  

Sanzo saw the minuscule movement of what was to him, elegant lashes, felt her stir beside him and discreetly angled his head to the side. It wouldn't do to be caught staring. The Buddha knew he'd done enough of that anyway, never mind that she'd been asleep. Or had she? Sanzo's sculpted mouth turned up slightly at the corners in what was his habitual equivalent of a full-blown smile. He hadn't missed how she'd turned that subtle shade of red, when he'd taken off his robe and placed it around her. Such a simple gesture of courtesy, and yet he had never felt the urge to give it until now, nor had he anticipated how much pleasure it would grant him, to rattle his stubbornly resisting companion. He believed the only reason she hadn't rejected his offering was to deny that it bothered her. 

Thinking that Yukaeshi's actions resembled that of an ostrich, Sanzo suddenly flashed a grin; an unmistakable, real, honest-to-wickedness grin, which lasted about a second or two. Yukaeshi pretended that whatever botheration—namely, him—would just go away if ignored. He'd been sorely tempted to cup her cheek and make them both acknowledge the surprising attraction they felt…but he'd refrained. She wasn't ready. And if truth were told, neither was he. As to what exactly they weren't ready for, Sanzo thought, his forehead furrowing, he couldn't look at it closely without feeling a tiny bit of...annoyance? He had a mission to fulfill. Entanglement was not an option. 

Sanzo's brooding look was the first thing Yukaeshi saw, and her defenses immediately went up. Loath to surrendering the spell of the previous night, Yukaeshi nevertheless sat up, and with her right hand, held out his fallen garment. _"Arigatou…although you shouldn't have, I was fine without it." _She concentrated on the red dot on his forehead. Better that than have those compelling violet eyes of his hypnotize her own into revealing more than she was prepared to show. Better that than…well, anything else. So the skin-tight black undershirt he wore molded itself rather well on his muscular chest. So it looked satiny to the touch, a stark color-contrast to the bared white skin of his arms. So she wondered what it would feel like to be touched by the hand beneath the glove, the body beneath the black. Big deal. Her blood pressure could do without the distress.       

_Ah, so the ice goddess returns._ Sanzo noted the cool expression on her face. He should have known. She was looking at him and yet through him, as though he were a cockroach she'd suddenly found in her bed. Again. Knowing her, it would have taken only that "Leave before you get your arms cut off" look to drive away even the most amorous of demons. No. He'll leave his whoremonger friend out of this. It was enough, this negativity that he felt, as the memory of the moonlit night slowly leached away into the usual watchfulness and restlessness of day, overcast as it was. Oh well. A part of him was relieved…the mission was safe as long as he remained detached from the people he met. Otherwise, he'd linger…or rather, waste time._ "Don't mention it. You looked cold." You always do. _

_"Well I wasn't." It is goddamned inconvenient having you around. I don't need looking after. I used to like the cold well enough. _Yukaeshi shivered. 

_"My mistake." What the hell was I thinking? She doesn't want help from anyone. And I certainly don't need the distraction. Idiot. _He narrowed his eyes, trying to pierce the obscuring clouds to see the sun. Damn. He wondered how much precious time had already gone. A cigarette would taste just right about this time. But he'd given them all away.

She'd turned her head to the side and was looking at the remains of the bar. _"Looks like they're done with the place. Shouldn't you go look for your charges?" Why don't you get dressed already?_ _Take the damned robe!_

_"Oh I will…as soon as you let go of my hand." _

A short silence followed Sanzo's dry tone. Yukaeshi's cheeks flamed again. _Kuso. _It had felt so natural, so right when she'd taken his hand last night. It still did, which is why she'd so easily overlooked that they were still joined in the handclasp underneath the fall of cotton. Damn and damn and double damn. 

_*"Palm to palm is holy palmer's kiss…"*_

Yukaeshi tried to extricate her hand now, but Sanzo held fast, partly out of sheer perversity. _"Gojyo and Goku would have probably passed out by now, either from the effects of battle, booze or bickering…or all three. Why should I bestir myself for those layabouts?" _

He wouldn't' let her go that easy. If he took off his glove, he'd be sure to feel her pulse, beating strongly. The agitation was something he shared. If he let go now, he instinctively knew that she'd make sure all contact would be terminated. Permanently. The idea, he realized, did not appeal to him. _"And why are you in such a hurry, all of a sudden?"_

He was mocking her. Damned if she'd use her other hand, for the damned monk to steal. _"None of your business. Let go."_ _I should've broken contact the minute I woke_, Yukaeshi fumed. Somewhere at the back of her mind, her more sensible self crowed: _You've got that right, honey_. Yukaeshi's other self, the strange, ungovernable and impulsive one she'd thought she'd buried with her parents, just cackled madly at her predicament. Oh God. She was turning into her split-personality sister. And this arrogant bastard was responsible.  

She still wouldn't look at him. Sanzo lifted his free hand and gently turned her chin towards him. They stared at each other. His eyes were questioning. Hers were wary and vulnerable at the same time.

_*Have saints not lips…and holy palmers too? *_

_"Why are you trying to run away from me? Why won't you let me…" _he began.

_"Don't ask…" _she said on a whisper of breath. 

_"Then I won't…" _With no other warning, Sanzo kissed her. He stole her already scant breath, breathed in her sigh, gave back his own. The exchange was anything but simple, but it fell into the breathing pattern so perfectly, it seemed as though they were of one body. His arm went around her, her head rested upon his shoulder, the kiss continued. Her back lowered on the ground, his body moved in to brush against hers, their bodies locked as an extension of the kiss. Their fingers remained twined. Their tongues brushed, tangled, came apart. Someone moaned. Neither could tell who made the sound, even when it was heard again. Back and forth, they breathed. Back and forth, tongue-to-tongue, skin-to-skin, they touched. 

Just as suddenly as they'd kissed, they broke apart. 

Sanzo looked down at Yukaeshi, marveling at his body's reactions to her nearness. He should be all cramped up in this awkward position, but surprisingly, her pliant receptiveness fit quite comfortably. Well, maybe comfortable wasn't the right word. His body had hardened, his temperature was up, he could feel the flush along his cheeks, the fire in his blood, as though he'd just drunk from the finest bottle of sake. He wondered what she was thinking, if she was feeling the same things. He wondered if she was having trouble keeping stable and not spontaneously combusting. He wanted to kiss her again, while searching for a hint of the same precarious balance in her expression. But her midnight-hair shaded her eyes…she was hiding from him, from her own reactions. Ostrich. He moved, intending to brush the dark locks away, when the sight of his shaking hand arrested him. Well. What next? But then again, how something so rough, so callused, had been allowed to touch her softness…it was surprisingly humbling. Had he been rough with her? Had he bruised her? Desire simmered just below the surface…a moment before it had seared through his limbs and had broken his iron control. When it came to her, it appeared he was disgustingly easy to provoke. He should put a little more distance between them. Sit up maybe. _Yeah right, like that would help. Like it hadn't been driving him crazy since the day they'd met to have her so near, and yet locked away from him…by the shield of space between their bodies…by her unfathomable mind…_   

Yukaeshi couldn't look him in the eye, not just yet. Maybe after she took in more oxygen. Maybe after she didn't feel so goddamned fragile in his *gulp* near-naked embrace. She felt herself hyperventilating, breaking into a cold sweat. Not even fighting demons was this much trouble. All of a sudden, it pissed her off that she could be so bothered over a kiss, while he was probably watching her with that smirk of his, wondering when she'd get it together. In defiance of her own tremulous feelings, Yukaeshi blew her bangs away. _Who knew the damned things had grown so long? Mou._ She scowled up at Sanzou, who'd sat up, placing a little distance between them. He wasn't looking at her, but staring at his hand. Bemused. Almost…confused. It hit her right then. _He's so beautiful. _His porcelain skin glowed with health, its clarity enhanced by a slight flush along high cheekbones. The gilt in his hair was like a halo around his face, against the darkness of the sky he seemed like an avenging angel. She swallowed a protest as he ran the hand he'd been studying a second ago, ran it violently through his hair. How the golden tresses could irritate him was a mystery to her. She wanted to feel its softness on her cheek, on her skin. She wanted to be the one to smooth it over his scalp, learn its texture, whenever it fell across his face. And that hand…she wanted to feel its warmth again. She craved his touch. He chose that moment to look back at her, his gaze partially concealed by absurdly long lashes. She drew a sharp breath. May the Buddha guard her from Sanzo's knowing eyes; the amethyst orbs burned with pure intensity. It seemed as though he were probing her soul.  

_"Daijoubu desu ka?" _He took their linked hands, kissed the back of her hand, each tapered cuticle, blew into her palm…all the time gazing at her widening eyes and dilating pupils. 

_Whoever said holding hands was an innocuous gesture of affection was dead wrong_, Yukaeshi thought. _It's damned erotic. _Pinpricks of heat shivered across her skin, setting off small explosions of heat across her body. She closed her eyes to savor the sensation…then opened them again in shock when Sanzo suddenly took her middle finger into his mouth, sucking gently as he took it in, then raking with his teeth on the way back, right to the tip.

Sanzo released Yukaeshi's hand and slowly, fluidly, slid his body on hers again, reaching to cradle her head in his hands. Looking straight into her eyes, he uttered a single, deadpan sentence: _"I want to be inside you." Body. Mind. Heart. All at once. _

Lightning streaked across the sky. Thunder rolled, crashing above their heads. The clouds chose this moment to dump water on their heated bodies. It made no difference. The air crackled around them, as though the lighting had lit their bodies from the inside. They kept staring at each other, barely breathing.__

_*"Here comes the rain again…falling on my head like a memory…falling on my head like a new emotion…"*_

They were both getting wet, their clothes sticking to their bodies, but their mingled body heat remained high. Tiny rivulets of water slid from Sanzo's hair onto Yukaeshi's face, and she opened her mouth to take in the moisture. A fierce expression on his face, Sanzo closed his eyes from the temptation of kissing her again without leave, waiting for her answer. 

_*"I want to kiss like lovers do, I want to dive into your ocean…"*_

Sanzo caught himself nearly praying to a nonexistent god that she wouldn't reject him. He dwelled on the bitter irony of that, and on the great possibility of having yet another bad memory to accompany rain, if she said no. 

_*"Here comes the rain again, falling on my head like a tragedy…falling on my head like a new emotion…"*_

_"Onegai..." _

With bated breath, Sanzo waited.

_"You must be cold. I will be too…"_

Sanzo suspected she was trying to go on easy on him. He prepared himself to be torn apart by her refusal.  

_"If you don't continue."_

Sanzo's eyes snapped open. Half-believing the phrase he thought he heard her speak was a result of wishful thinking, Sanzo didn't act as swiftly as he would've, and instead looked to Yukaeshi for added confirmation. _Are you sure? _his eyes asked.

Yukaeshi tentatively smoothed the lines on his serious face, slid her fingers into the wet strands of his hair. There was nothing tentative, however, in the way she lifted her face, and kissed him, pouring her whole self into the act. 

_To hell with not being ready_…Everything had been leading up to this moment._ Let the lightning fall. _The arrows of Eros had already struck. _Let the thunder roar_. It could not drown their synchronized heartbeats._ Let the rain pour. _It cleansed their bodies for the sacred union. Yukaeshi was through with pretending she didn't want him back. 

_The heavens may protest, the earth may quake and rumble with anger…this is beyond duty or desire…you are a goddess to me and I shall worship at your shrine. _Sanzo surprised himself with the violence of his feelings. Cynically, he wondered if had fallen in love with his recalcitrant companion. Who was he kidding? That kind of mush had never entered his head before her. No doubt about it, he'd gone and done a stupid thing…only, it didn't seem so stupid and felt quite good actually. Liberating. Wonderfully exhilarating. And whether she realized it or not, she was giving more than her body to him. She'd completely surrendered herself. 

Caught in the eye of the storm, Sanzo and Yukaeshi were oblivious to everything but each other.      

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* "Palm to palm…Have saints not lips…?" Romeo and Juliet, Act 1*

*"Here Comes The Rain Again" by the Eurythmics*

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_He'd gone. _Hinata sat frozen, as her mind fumbled with the realization that Homura had not stayed to listen to her explanation. 

Hakkai slowly straightened from his prone position, and took her cold hands in his, rubbing them together to create a little warmth. Distractedly, Hinata glanced at him.

_"He thought…you and I…he wouldn't…"_

_"He'll come back." _Hakkai's smooth voice was meant to provide comfort, but Hinata found none. The sight of Homura's ravaged face hovered before her eyes. How could she find peace? 

_"I know you mean well…but please, I want to be alone right now."_

Hakkai stopped massaging Hinata's hands and looked at her tight, white face…and though he felt she shouldn't be alone at this moment, he could see she meant what she'd said. He briefly kissed the hands he held, and stood up. _"Call if you need me, I'll hear you. I…I'm sorry he had to see that." _And he really was. He didn't like seeing her in pain. At the same time, the devil in his brain whispered to him: _This is your chance. She's vulnerable right now. You saw how he just left; he doesn't deserve her. What kind of man or demon would just leave the woman he loves to some other man? _Hakkai squelched the urge to act with dishonorable intent. Perhaps a demon or a god had different standards. But as for him, the person Hinata remembered loving was a man, and if he hoped to keep that part of himself, even in memory…if he hoped to keep her affections, even as a mere friend, he would do well to act as that man would've wanted. Having decided that, Hakkai slipped on the faint smile he always wore, back in place. 

Hinata noticed the sickly sweet smile Hakkai wore and shook off her abstraction for a moment to reassure him. _"You couldn't have known he was coming. Neither of us was paying attention, but then again, we have no control over how his mind would jump to conclusions. Please…" _She suddenly felt exhausted.  

Hakkai knew she wanted him gone. Inwardly, he sighed. Trust in Hinata to see through his disguise. Though he wanted it otherwise, his presence was of no help to her. He bowed low, and then vanished.

Hinata thought she had wanted to cry in peace. But her eyes remained dry. What she felt was beyond tears, beyond sorrow. She hadn't known until this moment how much she'd come to care for Homura. How careless. How foolish! How utterly imbecilic of her not to have known when her very heartbeat sounded out his name. _I will not cry._

The heavens opened up and wept for her. Great thunderclouds had been gathering in the wake of Homura's exit, now they spent their burden, no longer able to bear the weight. Slashes of lightning fell on the ground around Hinata, but did not come nearer than thirteen yards. 

_He's jealous. He's angry. He can't bear to touch me, even in anger. _Hinata watches as each lightning rod danced closer and closer, only to disintegrate before she could even feel its blue flame on her clammy skin. A gust of wind came nearest, drying the clothes that clung too close to her skin, now almost blown away from her. The wind whipped unmercifully anything that stood against it. Trees fell, scattering leaves and displacing innumerable birds that squawked their confusion to a deaf god. _He wouldn't be this angry if he'd ceased to care…_Slowly she stood up, noting how the dance of fire became more frenzied by the minute. _Good. She'll use his anger to make him come closer. _"COWARD! WHY DON'T YOU COME NEAR ME INSTEAD OF DANCING AROUND ME! IF YOU WANT ME DEAD THEN YOU'D BETTER DO IT YOURSELF! YOU EXHIBIT YOUR WRATH BUT YOU HIDE YOUR FACE? SHOW YOURSELF!"       

The earth cracked at a point in front of her feet, extending into the farthest scope of her eyes. Fallen trees caved in, swallowed inside the newly formed abyss. The mountain crumbled at the sides, forming cliffs of cut rock, the bottom of which sank into what appeared to be the edge of a sea that hadn't been there but a while ago. Waves whirled in a mad dance of death, as the surf broke its spine on the jagged edges of the rocks, scattering in dark droplets and white foam, only to re-form in order to crash again.  

_"I'm not doing all of this by myself you know…" _Hinata froze at the sound of Homura's voice at her back. Slowly, she turned around.

He was standing negligently near the cliff's edge, surrounded by a force field of fire, as though he'd come to wage war. _"Nature is picking up signals from both of us." _He gave her a smile that didn't reach his eyes, and swept a mocking bow. _"You called…my lady?"_

_You came. _Never one to beat around the bush, Hinata nevertheless found herself hesitating a second before she was able to ask him, as it turned out, something other than what she had had in mind _"Why did you leave?"_. She nearly kicked herself. That sounded so gauche. One of the three of voices ringing inside her head rang out louder than the other two: _Why didn't you just ask him if he loves you still? That might make it a little less obvious how worried you are that he's changed his mind. _For once, the other two agreed. _At least I kept my voice from quavering._ Hinata felt like a total jerk.

_"Because I wanted to kill your lover and I knew you wouldn't let me."_ The unseen wind played with his dark hair, giving him a certain reckless quality; there was restlessness in the way he tossed his head back to keep the strands from obscuring his eyesight. 

Hinata was slightly distracted by the sudden cessation of noise inside her head before the words that caused it registered…and her eyes widened at his plain speaking. Homura was still smiling, or rather, gritting his teeth in a parody of a smile, cold and feral. His eyes seemed to be looking through her and at something else. Hinata looked over her shoulder, half-expecting Hakkai to materialize like the previous periodic episodes when Hakuryuu seemed to be everywhere she went, until she'd gotten irritated and her dragon-brother, who also had a tendency of appearing and disappearing at odd times, had rounded on Hakkai's hapless pet. But there was nothing and no one there. The wind had quieted down, but the air still crackled with electricity, as though nature had gotten tired after her tantrum, and was waiting to be wound up and riled again. Hinata turned back to Homura, and almost jumped when she realized he'd come closer, close enough that now she felt as though she were the only target for his eyes, as though he were stalking her every movement. He didn't give any appearance of haste, but she felt his presence slowly closing in. It unnerved Hinata enough for her to stammer out an unthinking response: _"He isn't my lover…"_

_"Sou desu ka?" _A maddened wave splintered a rock and sucked it into its cold depths. The exploding surf seemed to swell with gratification, and renewed its onslaught. _"Whatever he may come to mean to you, I know that he loves you. And you care for him. Admit it."_

_"He isn't." _Hinata all but growled. _"I've never lied to you…" _She broke off at Homura's raised eyebrow. _"Once…and that doesn't count because I didn't know you then. You must be severely unhinged if you thought Hakkai and I were…we weren't doing anything, we haven't done anything and are not likely to. He's my friend. He may have been someone else to me before, but so was I, someone else I mean, and I am not that person now."_

_"His head was on your lap." _Homura's voice was colorless, every neutralized word achieving the same effect as a careful insult. _"He was acting as though he had the right, as though he owned you." _

_"Argh!" _Hinata was pissed off enough to march straight at him, punch a hole inside the barrier, then extend her arm and poke him on his chest with a strategic finger. _"You listen to me, and get it through your stubborn, thick skull, I am my own person…nobody owns me, and no one has the right to touch me without a by-your-leave, so stop insulting both me and my friend. And why am I explaining myself to you anyway? I must be light-headed from all that…"_

Homura took her by the wrist and jerked her into his arms, so suddenly, that the breath whooshed out of Hinata and she was unable to finish her sentence, unable to do anything but rest quietly in his embrace, surrounded by the light of his barrier, only now, it kept the world out while enfolding them in a cocoon of warmth. _"I was jealous." _He whispered fiercely into her ear. _"You should know; you're not obtuse. I was near insanity. I had to leave you with him, and the moment I did, I wanted to come back and rip his lungs out. The only thing that stopped me was this horrible idea that you'd fall all over his dead body and try to bring him back to life. And if you'd succeeded, I'd have attacked him again, and so on, until we both got tired…and listen to me, I'm not making sense, even to myself."_ He paused, still cradling her in front of his tense body. _"I hated to see how much you cared for someone other than me." _The last sentence was softly stated, and Homura expelled a pent-up breath, releasing most of his anger, and replacing it…with something else. Something vibrant and alive and tense with awareness at how close they were, and of how thin their clothes had become, after days of traveling their separate routes, and after weathering the quieting storm that seemed to have lasted for days and not a mere two hours, only to coalesce into this moment of intimacy. 

_"I'm a selfish bastard." _Even as he said it, Homura was nestling her closer to him, his hands learning the contours of her back, tracing a disturbing path down her spine, curving over her fanny. His bi-colored eyes had become narrowed in concentration, focusing intently upon her mouth. Hinata thought she saw a hint of calculation in the flicker of his eyelashes, a full second before he lowered his head, kissed her eyelids, the tip of her nose, the corner of her mouth, and then slowly traced her lips with his tongue, parting them and sliding in, briefly, just enough for her to get a taste of him, like chocolate melting before she could fully savor the sweetness. Hinata bit back a frustrated moan as his hot mouth moved on to the soft skin where her jaw and neck met, nipping there, near the faded mark of the love-bite he'd placed…oh, it seemed like eons ago. _He's good at this, the sly bastard._

It felt so good to have her back in his arms, Homura found difficulty keeping to his intention of seducing her, and not being seduced instead. His body was like a furnace, and yet his stomach clenched partly out of fear and not just arousal…he needed to make this right, he had to…he wanted her so bad it hurt, but he wanted her to feel it too. _Damn, when did she start smelling like vanilla? _He found himself inhaling the scent on her heated skin, wondering if he licked at it, would he be able to taste vanilla as well…Homura shook his head a little, to un-fog his brain. If she had even a tenth of his desire then she'd forget all about that annoying pest of a demon. _I'll make her forget…_

The slight pressure of his hands at her hips urged her into a tighter embrace, and her breasts encountered the solidity of his chest. She fought to keep her hands still, preventing herself from feeling her way into his clothing. She had a sudden mad urge to find out the texture of his chest when bared, wondered how it would feel like against her skin. She could feel his pebbled nipples through their clothes, and Hinata figured he probably felt hers as well...they ached, and her wayward self considered asking him to kiss and make them feel better. Obviously, she was rapidly losing her mind, she thought wryly, while Homura remained in control. So far he was limiting his maddening stop-then-resume exploration to her back and sides. _But probably not for long…_This close, Hinata couldn't help noticing that he was becoming aroused. The proof was prodding her on the stomach. Hinata's face caught fire, and the rest of her body, already tingling deliciously in response to his teasing caresses, followed suit. _"Matte…dame…" _She didn't know whether she was asking him or herself to slow down, or more wisely, stop.

She'd turned her head to the side, in an effort to hide her embarrassment, perhaps to gain a little composure, but couldn't refrain from gasping when his hand cupped her breast through her blouse, learning its shape. Moving his mouth to her ear, Homura had to swallow once before he was able to whisper, _"Am I bothering you, koishii?" _He'd discovered how soft and sensitive her earlobes were, and he nibbled one of them, making her shiver. Hinata felt surrounded by him…inundated by the sensation of liquid heat flowing between them, invading their bodies and rushing through their pores. She gave up resistance and slid her hands on his chest, spanning the breadth of his shoulders before linking her hands at the back of his neck. Adopting a back-and-forth motion, she continuously brushed against him, allowed his left leg to part her thighs and rub against the very heart of her… 

_"Why don't you stop me?" So sweetly responsive, so damned selfless. _And he was using her. He'd launched a campaign to drown her senses and he'd succeeded, never mind that his needs were being satisfied while hers…remained unclear. _She hasn't given me her permission. _He'd confused her and now he was taking advantage of her. He was so turned on, he didn't care that they were in the middle of a goddamned field and perhaps caught in a renewed tempest, he was going to take her. _Her body is saying yes…_  

Hinata trembled with reaction and couldn't bring herself to say anything. Not just yet. She wanted to lose herself in his touch…in his kisses…why wasn't he kissing her for real? His elusive mouth was now moving down her neck, his hands were playing with the sash tied at her hip and all he had to do was pull it for her black over-blouse to come apart…the buttons at her neck had already gone…the leather pants were tricky, but manageable…as for her boots, she couldn't count the number of times she'd easily kicked them off, they were unlaced anyway…and oh why was he so still all of a sudden, why did he stop…   

_"If I don't stop now…I won't." _Homura was breathing hard, and the forehead he rested on her own was moist with sweat. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he peeled himself away from her, sucking in a breath at the loss of contact. He couldn't do it. He couldn't seduce her without conscience. _And a fine time it was to grow a damned conscience_, he thought in resignation. If this weren't so serious, he'd be laughing at himself. The eyes he'd closed but a moment ago now looked directly at Hinata's, willing her to understand, willing her to realize the importance of his words. _"Do you want this? Do you want me?" _It was the first time he'd ever asked those questions. It was the first time he was ever unsure of the answer. Despite her body's response, despite the dazed look in her eyes, or maybe because of that, he wanted to be reassured of her mind's decision. 

_"What was he asking? Why didn't he just kiss her senseless? That way…it wouldn't be her responsibility…that way she wouldn't have to…Oh, may the gods abandon her, did she just think that?" _Hinata slowly became more aware of herself, of Homura shaking her ever so gently, impatient for her response. _Did she actually just admit to wanting to be dominated…no, not just dominated, but for her choice to be disregarded? That was tantamount to…Homura deserved more than to be turned into a…_

_Homura saw sense returning to her eyes, and he couldn't stand the suspense…the sweat on his skin turned clammy with fear. Did he just do a stupid thing? No…he was acting with the best intentions. If they were to make love, he wanted it to mean something. "Hinata…I love you. I want to make love to you, again and again and again…" _He broke off, flushing as his mind recalled every heated fantasy he'd envisioned from the moment he started obsessing over her. He gulped in more air, tried steadying his heartbeat. No such luck.When he spoke again, his voice had grown husky with need. _"Koishii, I really, **really **want to get naked with you…will you let me?" _

Hinata had fallen still. Homura realized something that made his heart drop down to his stomach. She'd never told him she loved him back. Not once.  

The seconds ticked by.

Hinata wouldn't look up. Homura's hands dropped listlessly to his sides. His head tilted downward, his hair hiding the expression on his face. Then, without warning, he ran to the edge of the cliff and in one powerfully smooth move, swan-dived into the dark depths of the roiling sea. 

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_"What happened to him?" _Hakkai's pleasant face was composed, if a bit puzzled, as he took in Goku's drooping form slung over the arm of Gojyo, who was shaking, positively quivering really, with suppressed laughter. _"Gojyo," _a hint of reproach in the carefully modulated voice, _"what did you do to him?"_

_"Me? I didn't do anything…" _Unceremoniously, the river demon dumped his load onto the back of Jeep. Goku hit his head on a railing, but continued snoring away, totally worn out. Every now and then he would interrupt his snores with a burp. Gojyo slung his lanky frame over onto the front passenger seat. _"I should be praised for my restraint actually, since this kid just cost me Ms. Lavender's proffered company. Oh no my friend, it wasn't me, but a tiny bit of a girl who slugged our little monkey here. He was discourteous enough to…ah…get into a bit of an accident with the lady."_

_Hakkai smiled. Over the months they'd spent together, and even before that as generals in the army of heaven, Gojyo had learned the minute gradations between Hakkai's smiles. This one was his slightly incredulous one. "Our Goku made a pass at a girl?"_

_"I don't know what exactly his intentions were, but he rather abruptly deposited regurgitated beer on her lap." _Gojyo chuckled at the memory. _"Naturally, she was displeased."_

_"Naturally." _Hakkai agreed, starting Jeep. When he'd decided to come looking for his travel companions, he'd headed directly to the nearest tavern, figuring that Gojyo would've needed a beer, and Goku a food platter. He hadn't known that he'd be just in time to provide them a getaway from irate patrons. As he backed out of the clearing and onto the dirt road, he shot a mildly exasperated look over at Gojyo. _"Getting him into the state before the actual scrape is your doing, I assume."_

_"Ah…you recognize the handiwork of a master." _Gojyo grinned unrepentantly. _"I thought I'd help out a friend to get over a girl, a memorable experience in lieu of love, a buzz to get over the bite, you get my drift? Watching him humiliate himself was just a perk…I hadn't thought that far. I did good, ne?"_

_"Well…you had good INTENTIONSI'd grant you that." _Hakkai said obligingly. He had long gotten over reforming (and refining) the river demon's methods, although thankfully there was nothing questionable about Gojyo's motives. The two friends rarely clashed, and Gojyo cleaned up his own messes, although occasionally Hakkai had dipped in a helping hand, sight unseen.

_"So where are we off to now?" _Gojyo settled comfortably on his seat, his hands linked and clasping the back of his head.

_"We're looking for Sanzo and then continuing west, of course." _Noncommittal. He hoped the neutral tone would make Gojyo refrain from asking if they'd be accompanying the sisters who were in the last leg of their journey.

_"Ah…sou ka." _Gojyo nodded sagely, taking the hint. _"And do we know where the almighty heretic is?"_

_ "Not a clue." _Hakkai's eyes crinkled as he smiled. Gojyo always knew the right—and to the redhead's discredit, also the wrong—things to say.

_"So, what you're saying is, we're driving around aimlessly until Sanzo decides to put in an appearance, mayhap at some abandoned dirt road, and when least expected." _Gojyo studied Hakkai from the corner of his eyes.

_"Pretty much. I rather like driving around right now."_

_"Whatever suits your fancy." _Gojyo could also be obliging when he wanted to. 

_"Maa…"_

They enjoyed the comfortable silence only friends of long-standing have.

_"Hakkai?"_

_"Nan desu ka?"_

_"I don't need to have any good intentions toward you right now…do I?" _Gojyo's tone was as usual, playful, but the watchfulness in his eyes remained trained on Hakkai.

Jeep bumped over some rock on the road. Or maybe it was a boulder. The driver appeared unperturbed. Goku got another bop on the head—he'll be having headaches on top of the hangover when he wakes up. Gojyo kept his seat but was slightly disturbed by his companion's smile. Charming. Deadly. Hurting. It had Hinata written all over it. 

_"No, Gojyo. Good intentions appreciated but unnecessary."_

Gojyo nodded thoughtfully.Beer isn't a cure-all, if anyone knew that for a fact it would be him, and he hadn't wanted to bring out his secret recipe. Tricky brew to prepare. The last batch turned out near fatal. He'd rather not risk it on his best friend. He slanted another long look at Hakkai's pure profile. _"Been years since I've threatened you with my meddling, ne? Hyaku? Nihyaku?"_

Hakkai grinned. _"Sanbyaku. Sumanai. I'll try to make you worry more." _

Gojyo sighed. _"You said that the last time. No fun, Hakkai." _The sentences were softly spoken. Three hundred years ago, when both of them had served in the Great Army, Hakkai had been harboring the purest form of anger…he'd burned with it, awed Gojyo with its barely-checked violence. Only vestiges of that passion remained, with Hakkai lashing out every now and then if provoked. It took rather a lot for him to be provoked, and the green-eyed demon had been as self-contained as ever. Until they'd met up with the sisters. Almost as though Hakkai had been unable to help himself, Gojyo had seen his friend jump from one emotion to the other. He would miss that. He'd rather have that, than the perpetual easy pleasantry so basic to Hakkai nowadays.

_"Cheer up Gojyo. You may yet have to force your nasty spirits down my throat." _Hakkai sent him a soft smile and an understanding look. Of course, he had the sneaking suspicion that what he'd just said may actually be true. He was friends with Hinata, after all. Just that and nothing more. _*…I see your face / stars seem to lose their place / why must I think of you / for all my days remaining…*_

Gojyo thought again. Maybe it was all for the best. _"Not for another couple of lifetimes pal."_  He kept his eyes on the road this time. Trust Hakkai to know what would shut him up. Now, if only he could shut down his own mind's restlessness, his own heart's desires. Hakkai's heart-sickness, Sanzo's mission, even daily sparring with the monkey were distractions, but proved insufficient. As for the women…he'd only ever really loved one, and she'd tried to kill him. Sometimes he still wished his oniichan hadn't stopped her.

Sometimes, he wished…Gojyo surreptitiously glanced at Hakkai through lashes longer than most girls' were. He wished that Hakkai weren't such a good friend. 

_* "…if I told you that I loved you / you'd maybe think there's something wrong / I'm not a man of too many faces / the mask I wear is one / those who speak know nothing / and find out to their cost / like those who curse their luck in too many places / and those who smile are lost" *_

Yep. Sometimes he wished that friendship weren't so important. Perhaps more important than mere love. 

Jeep sped along, two of its passengers lost in thought and half-envying the unconscious third passenger who was firmly ensconced in dreamless, unthinking sleep. 

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* "Why Should I Cry For You" and "Shape Of My Heart" (gifted gambler who won't gamble on love—lovely irony for Gojyo)" by **Sting** *

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The sweat and rain had dried on their bodies, but their heartbeats hadn't settled anywhere near the normal pace. Yukaeshi lay on top of Sanzo, her slighter body lifted in tandem with his breathing, her long hair forming a curtain of black around them. She moved languidly, playfully brushing the silky strands of her hair against Sanzo's bare chest, for which action she found herself flat on her back, being thoroughly kissed…   

_* "if the night turned cold and the stars looked down /  and you hug yourself on the cold, cold ground / you wake the morning in a stranger's coat / no one would you see / you ask yourself, who'd watch for me / my only friend, who could it be / it's hard to say it / I hate to say it / it's probably me_

Sanzo broke the kiss lingeringly, looking down at her and damning himself for the well of protectiveness that rose inside the heart he'd tried so hard to close off, cursing the luck that had brought him to care too well, too soon, and in the middle of a goddamned mission. Talk about bad timing! He arranged her hair, combing through it with fingers that still had a tendency to shake, smoothing the strands over her breasts, hiding them from his gaze, if not his touch…

_*** you're not the easiest person I ever got to know / and it's hard for us both to let our feelings show***_

Yukaeshi somehow felt the turmoil inside Sanzo, and she prayed for reality to keep back for a while, for time to stand still…just this once. She wanted to lose herself in this moment, and her eyes unconsciously implored Sanzo not to break the spell, not just yet. Looking back at her gravely, he traced the line down the bridge of her nose, her lips, that stubborn dent in her chin, down to her neck, both her breasts, her navel, and further…

_** some would say / I should let you go your way / you'll only make me cry**_

Sanzo slipped his finger inside her, watching her eyes close in both agitation and relief; he had acceded to wishes unvoiced. Even as she rose up to meet the slow movements of his hand, accepting him, eager for him, while tears leaked out from her closed lids… They disturbed him, those tears. Sanzo lowered his head and licked the salt away…

_* if there's one guy / just one guy / who'd lay down his life for you and die / it's hard to say it / I hate to say it / it's probably me" *_

_My silent lover…you don't have to…_Yukaeshi felt the tension build inside her. _His maddening fingers…his tongue…he wouldn't…_His mouth now followed the path his gently moving finger had traveled, from face to neck to breasts, to the navel he now speared with his flirting tongue…

** _Today I am / …made of silence / made of glass / I am turning in your hand / I am shattering like light / scattering like night / laying down in pieces / I am laying down in pieces **_

_He did…he had…_

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* "It's Probably Me" by **Sting **and "Small Blue Thing" by **Suzanne Vega** *

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"YOU MORON!" Hinata was shaking with the anger that had cracked through her frozen horror. She hadn't thought she'd be capable of movement or even of speaking, but that voice careening through the air had been hers, the body half-slung over the cliff's edge was hers, as were the eyes feverishly peering through the shadows, at the blithely swimming form of Homura. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF HEAVEN OR HELL WERE YOU THINKING! YOU COULD'VE BEEN KILLED!"

_*with every step I thought of you / every footstep only you / …with every star or grain of sand… *_

Homura slicked back his wet hair and grinned unrepentantly up at her. His normal voice carried effortlessly despite the distance between them. "Suspended arousal kills, too, you know. I thought this sub-zero water would be just the remedy. Besides, you were taking too long with your answer. I might have spontaneously combusted on the site." _I couldn't stand another minute of your silence. I just wanted you to look at me again._

Hinata was looking at him with murderous intent. He couldn't see her blush anyway. _Of all the stupid, reckless stunts to pull._ She spoke through gritted teeth. _"It would serve you right if I came down there to finish your botched job at killing yourself. You're insane!" _ 

_* …I'm mad about you…/…all my kingdoms turn to dust and fall into the sea / my enemies walk free / …there are no victories, there are no histories / without love /…tell me how much longer…"* _

 

Homura concentrated on treading water and not voicing out his thoughts. He'd done too much talking anyway. Too much acting, too…and yet he still didn't have the sutra. He squinted up at Hinata. He didn't have her either. Now she was too far away for him to touch. Not that it would do him any good. _"Why don't you come down and take me to task then?" _He regretted the taunt as soon as it left his mouth. There seemed to be no other way down that cliff except through the means he'd employed, and he sure as hell didn't want her to try that.

Hinata's eyes narrowed into slits. _The insensitive clod. Didn't he see how worried she was having watched his body hurtle down that cliff? Couldn't he tell? She loved him, for crying out loud! He should know…should…he doesn't know_. Hinata sat back on her haunches, the anger knocked out of her. _I've never told him. He could've died, and he wouldn't have known._

_Stupid words come out of my mouth and not a peep out of her. _Homura craned his neck, trying to see Hinata, who had moved back from the vantage point. _Is she that disgusted?_ His mouth opened in shock, his eyes widened. He saw Hinata step toward the rim of the rocky cliff. Without a stitch of clothing on. Talk about peeping. A flash of bare skin and she'd jumped, straight as an arrow, into the waters. _"Bloody hell!" _Homura dived in after her, searching for her body underwater. _Stupid woman! Hasn't she heard of sharp rocks underneath cliffs? And what the hell was she doing without her clothes? Where'd she go…when I get my hands on her, I'll…_

Homura came up for air, and was about to dive in again when he heard Hinata drawl, _"Worried you, didn't I?" _The cheeky brat was behind him. How'd she get past…oh, forget about that and shake some sense into that baka no onna. His hands clamped down on Hinata's shoulders. He resolutely ignored her naked state and barked out, _"What possessed you! And after giving me that lecture!" _

The guy was coming close to sputtering. It would have been funny, if Hinata hadn't been so nervous. _Did I just do that? I'm here, I actually jumped, I'm freezing—ye gods I'm naked! I really did it—I should just go out and say my piece…'I wasn't thinking'…damn it, I think I've lost my nerve."_

He was still shaking her. If his hands slipped a little and ran down her bare arm, caressing the soft inner skin from elbow to shoulder-joint, it was for warmth…_Her skin's so creamy, not quite tan nor plainly white…her lashes are all spiky…her mouth…I want to kiss her again…"_ Still holding her an arm's length away, Homura ducked his head into the water, willing his body to cool down, adopt the temperature of the water…_Bad idea…_He closed his eyes underwater, but it was of no use. He'd seen her naked body, gleaming palely in the black waters. _A VERY bad idea…her breasts begged to be kissed…keep your eyes closed, damn it! _The water temperature was less than 40 degrees and yet his body was nearing boiling point. _Great. Just great. More torture for Homura. If he'd done the universe wrong, he was heartily sorry for it now…she was so close but she wasn't his…he couldn't…shouldn't…_

_He was shaking. Was he that angry? _Hinata bit her lip and shivered. _Maybe he's just cold. _Ducking underwater, she beheld Homura with his eyes tightly closed, and his mouth, that sensual mouth, now in a thin line. _Were his jaws locked because he was freezing?_ Titling her head back, out of the water, she experienced a sensation of warmth. _Oh wow, the first sign of hypothermia kicking in. _Hinata frowned. _Homura should come up for air; he's been down there long enough. _Her hands cupped Homura's cheeks and urged him to come up. 

_What now? _Homura started breathing again. Opening his eyes, he decided Hinata's face was a safer image to focus on than her chest. She looked pissed…definitely not amorous. If anyone had a right to get mad, it was he. How dare she be so tempting and keep so out of reach, emotionally? Gah. He glowered at her.

Hinata forced herself to speak despite his quelling look. _"You wanted an answer. Well…I've known for a while now…" _He still looked a tad discouraging…but interested. Hinata clung to the latter quality. _"I'm in love with you." _The words rushed out of her mouth without further preamble. He looked thunderstruck. _"So there it is, I gotta go now…"_

She was able to swim a few meters away before his arms wrapped themselves around her legs, hauled her into an upright frontal position, and crushed her to him_._ _Oh hell, I'm in trouble_, Hinata was able to think before his mouth ravaged hers and all thought fled. She melted into his embrace, savored his taste in her mouth, played with his tongue, breathed a bit of his soul into her…maybe it was hypothermia, but the water had suddenly turned warm and the ice in her veins melted away as her blood heated. Their legs entangled, her bare thighs skimming his pant-covered ones, but they had to separate so Homura could keep them afloat. Hinata's body had the consistency of water; she felt entirely boneless and could barely control her limbs to be of any practical use. 

He should let them come up for air. Homura lifted his mouth, breathing as though he'd just swum a million miles. He gained a certain degree of satisfaction at seeing the dazed look in her eyes. He decided he'd better go all the way else she'd be disappointed. _What a hardship. _With a feral smile and a wicked glint in each eye, he bit her lower lip, swallowed her gasp, and filled her mouth with moisture. He wished his hands could be freer, but he had enough trouble keeping her close to him. He broke the kiss to whisper in her ear, _"Itoshii, anchor your legs around my waist."_ His palms cupped her shapely bottom to boost her up as she lifted herself with the hands that clung to his neck. The movement enabled him to slide his mouth down her neck…he buried his nose in between her breasts to inhale more of her vanilla scent, licked his way to her left breast, and traced the aureole with his tongue.

Hinata's heart literally skipped a beat and she couldn't keep back a moan as she felt him take her breast into his mouth and suckle with voracious appetite. His hands held her upper body suspended over the water, and she shivered as the wind danced its way around her exposed skin, making a path of goose bumps. 

_She tastes so sweet. _Homura had transferred his attentions to her right breast, delighting in the sounds he wrung from her, loving the feel of her pebbled nipple in his mouth. His whole body pulsed, unsatisfied by their hampered lovemaking, but he had no intention of stopping it. _Delaying, maybe_, the thought ran through his mind, _while I look for a more appropriate place. _He lifted himself up and scanned the shoreline, spotting a formation of large rocks that shielded a patch of sand from the merciless wind. It could fit two people quite comfortably, that is, if they wanted to be as close as possible to each other…and they did. 

Hunger knawed at him, intensified by every slight move she made. _We'll drown if we keep this up. _His leg hit something to his right. _Ow, ow…bloody h—now isn't this convenient…_They'd managed to reach a flattened piece of rock, probably smoothed over by the swells of water running back and forth across it's surface. Gently, he backed Hinata towards it and lifted her to lie upon it, following her down…

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* "Mad About You" by **Sting*** Funnily enough, you know exactly what I've been listening to while in the process of writing this fic, ha-ha.

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Goku's head ached like hell, and his mouth seemed lined with sandpaper. He cursed Gojyo and the kappa's deceptive drinks, tried recalling what exactly had happened before he'd passed out…what he'd done to merit the right hook from that girl…_Had she actually been blue or had his eyes been playing tricks on him? Pretty color, strange girl…_He could hear Gojyo's annoying sugary voice saying something to Hakkai…good old Hakkai…_Aaack, my head…I'll never drink again, I swear, just get my head back on straight…ow, my stomach…_Hakkai was saying something now, he sounded weird…

_*He sounds like he's missing / something or someone / that he knows he can't have now / and if he isn't / I certainly am *_

Goku wondered where Hinata-chan had gone… _She left and all that was left was a turnip…I went to the tavern to find…Food…I think I'm hungry but my stomach… _Gojyo's voice again… _This is his entire fault, the stupid cockroach! Grr… _Hakkai was saying something… _Ow, can't those two quit yapping? _Hakkai is talking about looking for Sanzo. _Sanzo…he'd know what to do…yes, find Sanzo…_

Goku shut his eyes again, welcoming sleep and feeling a lot better now that they were on their way to Sanzo.

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* "In Liverpool" by **Suzanne Vega** *

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In the interests of self-preservation, the writer begs respite. Unless _you_ want a bullet lodged in _your _brain and a katana rammed through _your_ throat, _you don't_ want to interrupt Yukaeshi and Sanzo at this precise moment (or snoop in on them any more than we already have). Moving on…

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_"Ouch!" _Hinata's outcry blasted in Homura's ear. _Ow. _Homura, slightly deafened, looked down at her in chagrin. 

The rock, though relatively smooth, was still a hard, unyielding piece of rock. 

Hinata burst out laughing. _"If you could only see your face…" _She sputtered in merriment. 

_Her eyes sparkle when she laughs. _Homura found he had to fight a smile tugging at his lips, although that seemed the only part of him capable of movement. The rest of him felt likely to explode if he fell into motion. _"I'm sorry…" _he said tenderly.

Hinata quit laughing, but now her nervousness was gone and she felt warmed by his somber gaze. _"I'm not." _She brought his head down for another one of those heart-wrenching, mind-drugging kisses that were his specialty. His clothes, soaked in moisture, provided a stimulating abrasion on her naked form. Her body started humming with pleasure. _Definitely not sorry…_  

Homura broke the kiss. Against her mouth, he whispered, _"Help me take my clothes off, beloved…"_

The black shirt was a little hard to take off, but they managed, with a little muffled laughter, and a lot of touching. The latter slowed down the process a tiny bit. Lifting her a little, Homura placed the shirt on the rock, to serve as protection. When he turned his attention back to her, he noticed a blush had suffused her guileless face and spread through her whole body, and he saw the slight uneasiness within the caramel depths of her eyes, now that he was almost as naked as she was. 

_"I won't hurt you." _He looked reassuringly into her eyes. _I'd rather die than cause you heartache._

_"I know you won't." _Hinata dropped her gaze. _ I won't hurt you either, _she wanted to say, butsomehow she felt unsure. Everyone she had cared for had somehow died, except Yukaeshi, and that was a near thing. Yukaeshi was the Goddess of Life, she'd accepted her powers in time and that may have protected her…Hinata didn't want the curse to fall on Homura. But whom was she kidding? She was the curse. She was the Goddess of Death. Everything she touched…

Homura assumed her troubled expression was due to the discomfort of the rock at her back and rolled over the minimal space to lie on his back, cushioning her atop his body. _"Is that better?"_

Hinata nodded, managed to say, _"Hai…much better. Arigatou." _He had already gone through so much, if the scars on his chest were any indication. She started kissing them, keeping her tears at bay. _I'll have to leave him. If I don't…he'll die._

Homura slipped his hand between her satiny thighs, felt her shudder and push into his hand, and the movement made her rise up to kiss him. Slick with water, his pants clung to him like a second skin, it seemed as though there were nothing separating their legs. She moaned as his hand continued caressing her, as his fingers slipped into her wet warmth in a thrusting motion mimicked by his tongue in her mouth.

The fire inside Hinata flowed, his touch made her burn hotter, his breath scorched her skin. _Please…_ Hinata whispered the word in her mind, unable to think coherently, or command her vocal cords to function. But he seemed to know exactly what she wanted. 

_One. Two. Three. _A few seconds was all it took to unbutton his pants, a whisper of cloth, and he was inside her, sliding in slowly. 

Homura stopped breathing, literally. _She's a virgin. _The seconds stretched into minutes, as he forced his body to rest unmoving, barely inside her. _Kuso, and I'd just promised not to hurt her. I should pull out now…_She moved, tried to bring him closer…His breath whooshed back in so fast, it made him lightheaded for a moment…Sweat poured down his body as he braced her hips to keep still, as he contemplated sacrificing his pleasure…

_One. _He loved her. She'd entered the cracks in his soul and made him whole.

_Two. _She loved him, incredible as that was. He didn't want her to change her mind.

_Three. _They'd both gone too far to stop now—which was bullshit, because the one final step had not been taken, and he was just making excuses because he wanted so badly to take her and had already decided that he would have her. 

_"Hinata, please open your eyes."_  The caramel orbs revealed themselves a little reluctantly, Hinata showing a rather absurd but endearing shyness, considering the position they were in and after what he'd just been doing—and intended to keep on doing—to her. _"Aishiteru." _He murmured the word, looking into her eyes with burning intensity as he brought her hips down and fully entered her, his mouth cutting off the cry of pain that escaped from her. Then he stayed still for a moment, letting her body adjust to the unfamiliarity of his invasion…

Hinata breathed shallowly, surprised at how much it had hurt. Homura was looking down at her with apprehensive eyes, his face was stark both with the need to continue and the dread that she wouldn't forgive him for the hurt…but she knew, somehow she knew, that he would discontinue if that were her wish. The thought calmed her, the expression in his eyes soothed her, and the pain slowly dissipated. She remembered the words he said before he had entered her and with a heart-wrenching smile, repeated them _"Aishiteru."_

Homura jerked involuntarily inside her. _Kuso. Slow down, you bastard. "Does it still hurt?" _he asked.

Hinata moved her head from side to side, saying no, and arched her back, pressed her hips down, to take in more of him. With soft hands, she traced the angles of his face. This time her smile was a little more knowing, the temptress and not the innocent. 

Homura felt himself beguiled by her expression, and ever so slowly, began their interrupted dance, watching desire flit across her face, watching her close her eyes and arch her neck, giving everything he had just to feel her arms embrace him, to feel her move into the rhythm he initiated, to surrender the pace to her…whatever she wanted…

_He gave me control…_Hinata felt her lips curving into a fierce-tender smile as she realized that Homura had given his much-prized control so that she wouldn't feel overwhelmed by him…and yet that was exactly what she did feel…awed, inspired, utterly under his power…he gave and she gave back in turn…moving closer and closer…feeling a cry welling up inside of her…feeling his strength anchor her, support her…as she rose higher and higher…        

A wall of water surged as though caught in a whirlpool of air surrounding their two undulating figures, crashing away from them and drowning out their dual cries of fulfillment…

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Hinata willed her body to start functioning again, and decided to be more proactive instead of being a limp doll. She deliberately and slowly slid away from Homura, leaving a tantalizing impression of her lithe body, making him smile even deep in sleep and exhausted as he was. She sat there, looking at his sleeping form, thinking…

_I will never be as happy as I was a few minutes ago._

Touching a trembling hand to her lips, she placed it on his…she then slipped into the water and with powerfully deliberate strokes, swam the few kilometers to shore, adding salt to the sea with her tears…

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_"Sanzo? Sanzo!" _Goku interrupted his tirade of recriminations at Gojyo and upended himself onto the front seats while hitting the brakes with his staff.

_"Stupid moron!" _Gojyo tried pushing off the monkey's flailing legs, but then decided to tackle Goku, dragging him to the back seat, where they started pummeling each other, with accompanying shouts.

_"You're bleeding, Sanzo-san." _Hakkai handed over a handkerchief he'd conjured from somewhere.

The two at the back stopped their fight to investigate. A trickle of blood fell from Sanzo's left ear, where a ruby shaped in the form of a crescent moon was attached. It seemed as though it had been shoved in with unwarranted force.

_"The color suits you." _Was all that Gojyo said.

_"Sanzo, you ARE hurt!" _Goku's worry far outweighed his annoyance with the red-haired demon.

Sanzo merely staunched the blood with Hakkai's handy hanky. _"I don't know why I put up with you children. Fighting again?"_

_"He started it!" _Goku began his tirade anew. _"He took me to this tavern filled with WEIRD people, with the disgusting intention of getting me drunk…"_

_"I don't recall you objecting when we actually got there and you started in on Kotori AND her sister…"_

_"That's a lie!" _The two started scuffling again in the backseat…

Hakkai waited for Sanzo to take out his fan and start hitting demon-heads, but the monk seemed to be lost in thought and unheeding of the rapidly escalating argument. 

_"Drive." _Sanzo had had enough of Hakkai's staring, although there was a trace of gentleness beneath the surly tone, a mark of his respect for the other demon. Hakkai drove.

_Yukaeshi. I will find you. You've given me a second mission. After this one…there's no escaping me. Never again._

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_"You left him." _Yukaeshi was waiting on the beach. Hinata's clothes were piled up next to her. Quietly, the younger sister started dressing. 

_"You know why." _Hinata's voice was flat. She didn't look back. 

_"You've gained your full powers?"_

Hinata shook her head. _"Even so…" _She had gotten stronger, recalled a little more of her distant past and recovered a piece of herself. Of course, she'd left a larger piece of her soul now…if not the whole…somehow, she felt empty.

_"There was always the chance that you would risk the curse."_

_"Would you?"_

_"No." But then I am not you._

_"Will we be joining the others?" _Hinata tried to keep the dread away from her voice. The last thing she needed was the all-too sensitive, all-too perceptive person of Hakkai. 

_Sanzo. _She'd left him swiftly, with the stealth ingrained in her. She would not stand in his way, nor would she allow him to stand in hers._ "I think not." Sanzo. Gomen. As I feared, reality has intruded. Our destinies will move in separate currents from now on. _

_Homura following. "Maa…" Sayonara, beloved._

_"It's for the best."_

_"We have no choice."_

The sisters had spoken at the same time. The eyes that had been avoiding each other met with understanding, echoed sorrow and suppressed regret.

_"Iku?"_

_"Iku, oneesan."_   

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Homura woke up and knew at once that she'd gone. Even before he opened his eyes, he felt the cold of her absence. 

The waters surrounding the lovers' rock froze into ice. 

Homura remained at its center, unmoving and utterly alone.

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Kanzeon Bosetsu sighed. _"Is he now totally lost to us?"_

The child she addressed continued playing with his stones. _"The sea and all the creatures in it have been silenced. His heart is encased in the same frost."_

_"That is not the answer I sought." _The child had no rejoinder. Kanzeon drooped in her chair. _"He still loves her?"_

_"It will not matter. It will not be allowed to matter." _This was said almost reluctantly. Kanzeon threw a sharp look at her companion.

_"Poor child. The gift has proven to be a curse after all." _Kanzeon was deliberately vague as to whom she referred to.  

The child dropped a stone. It surprised him. _"Perhaps…"_

Kanzeon straightened. The two exchanged a single meaningful glance.   

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* _It won't do…to dream of caramel…and long for you…*_

_* Since you've been gone I've been lost without a trace_

_I dream at night I can only see your face_

_I look around and it's you I can't replace_

_I feel so cold and I long for your embrace *_

_* Dark rain will fall until I see your face_

_I close my eyes, I seem to hear the raindrops saying_

_You won't come back_

_You still thrill me_

_You still haunt me_

_You still touch me *_

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"Caramel" by **Suzanne Vega**; "Every Breath You Take" and "You Still Touch Me" by **Sting**

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THE END

             

 __


	3. song

None of these words are mine. Listening to a couple of songs, I was struck by how much the lyrics fit the aftermath of Awakening: Homura 

I did not miss you much / I did not suffer / What did not kill me / Just made me tougher

The shadows close me round / …I look for answers in / The fire's embers

Why was I missing then… / I give my usual line, / I don't remember

Yukaeshi 

Another winter comes / His icy fingers creep / Into these bones of mine / These memories never sleep…

A cloak I borrowed / We kept our distances / Why should it follow that / I must have loved you?

Hakkai 

What is the force that binds the stars? / I wore this mask to hide my scars 

What is the power that pulls the tide? / Never could find a place to hide

Hinata 

What moves the earth around the sun? / What could I do but run and run and run?

Afraid to love, afraid to fail / A mast without a sail

Sanzo 

The moon's a fingernail / And slowly sinking / Another day begins / And now I'm thinking

That this indifference / Was my invention / When everything I did / Sought your attention

All 

It's time that I confessed / I must have loved you / I must have loved you

Homura 

I dream of fire / And in the flames / Her shadows play in the shape of man's desire

Sanzo 

I dream of rain / I lift my gaze to empty skies above / I close my eyes

All 

I wake in pain / I dream of love as time runs through my hand

***"I Must Have Loved You" and "Desert Rose", by who else but **Sting******


End file.
